The Weekly Mindfuck: The Creative Power of Fantasy

Any writer - or artist, or musician, or dancer - will tell you that creativity and ideation are effortful processes. Sometimes you get a fresh idea when you're not trying; when you're going for a walk or meandering the wine aisle of the grocery store (No? Just me?), but more often than not, it involves ritual and focus. I might be biased, but I consider sex to be art, and I often use a little creative strategy to get my juices flowing - no pun intended. 

One of them is the way I get off by myself, at least a large portion of the time. We know that we train our brains to sexually respond is important, so it occurred to me that solo time was a great place to purposefully condition myself in a way that would make for killer sex with my partner. I use my hand, and just my hand, and will intentionally fantasize about him. (Not that I don't without effort - but as we know, minds love to wander.) I keep the settings somewhat realistic: beds, bathrooms, kitchen tables, dark corners of bars. I let my erotic mind do its thing in that space. 

The results are awesome. Not only do I think of new to things to say, new positions to try, new ways to surprise him and myself, but I also get a better idea of the facets of my personality that can and do come out during real, actual sex. Potentially the best part, though, is that it creates anticipation; these are things I will do in a matter of hours or days, thanks to my little brainstorming sessions and gets me all kinds of excited. I've known for a long time that sex (and love) takes work, but I sometimes forget how fun that "work" can be - and I'm always inspired to seek more ways to do it.