Why Do You Get to Grab Emily Ratajkowski’s Ass?

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A post shared by Emily Ratajkowski (@emrata) on Jun 4, 2017 at 7:26am PDT

I Hope They Know How Lucky They Are...

Look, I'm not trying to start anything here. I know that there are people in this world who get to do things I don't get to do. And on the other side of that coin, I'm sure there are some things that I'm doing that someone else wishes they could do. But, who is the lucky person that gets to leave their hand prints in mud on Emily Ratajkowski's ass?

I get it, I do. When you have a super close friend, someone has seen you at your worst, they get to do things that other people don't do, like grab Emily Ratajkowski on the ass, shake it, and leave a reminder of their visit. I do. It makes total sense, but... damn it, who is this person? What did you do in your life that led you to this place, this random watering hole in the middle of God knows where with Emily Ratajkowski? And how is that you've built such a trust with Emily Ratajkowski that you can lay your hands, which have mud on them, on the perfect ass of Emily Ratajkowski? Huh? What did you do? Why are you so damn lucky?

Okay, okay, I'm done. I'm not going to be negative anymore. So this person gets to touch the ass of a goddess, so what, right? I get to see this perfect ass, my eyes have laid witness to the ass of Emily Ratajkowski, that's good too, right? Man, I hope this person knows how lucky they are.

via Emily Ratajkowski on Instagram

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