Porn Valley Dispatch

Ahoy! This is Gram Ponante of Porn Valley Observed, applying and just as quickly removing a nautical theme to my daily digests of some of the more notable non-events and trendlets from the San Fernando Valley: America's Porn Belt. After my disastrous turgid learning experience stint as Fleshbot's guest editor last week, I've returned to Gram Ponante Towers here in Chatsworth to start a regular feature here where I drop some science on two subjects Closer to the Heart of any pornographer (as well as Rush): Art and Money. All this after the jump.- G. Ponante

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We journalists know that the inverted pyramid is the sacred geometry of news writing; it is also the unmistakable shape of Liliane Tiger on the cover of a new release from VCA's Excessive label. The porn box cover, in general, has been called many things: busy, garish, inept, misleading, confusing, and/or wasteful. This cover, by Matt Westphalen, is none of those. It is simple, frank, and hottt. That is why the title, sadly, had to be Ass Fukt.

"Ass Fuckt"(DVD cover @ vcapix.com)

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The "Win Lunch with Taylor Rain" contest on ebay has come to a close with the winning bidder forking over $3,900. The lucky winner will spend the day on the set of one of Rain's directorial efforts for Defiance Films, including lunch with Rain. The O. Henry-like twist to all this is that the winning bid was sent in from Beverly Hills. Normally one can't pay people to travel from Beverly Hills to Chatsworth.

· "Win A Day On Set with Contract Star Taylor Rain!" (eBay)
· Defiance Films (defiancefilms.com)

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Turns out I'd be a Viagra dealer if I actually worked in the adult industry. (The problem with these online quizzes is that they're all written by the same guys who put the fortunes in cookies.)

Adult Industry Job Quiz (jokesunlimited.com, via Hardcore Gosssip)