Behind Closed Doors: Why Do We Love Big Boobs?

October 17, 2016
COLETTE-CALLAWAY

Estrogen and Evolution: A Travel Through Time

Let's start at the beginning, shall we? Like most of our preferences, our deep love of sweater stretchers is rooted in survival of the species - according to most researchers, at least, but for a combination of reasons. Boobs are different than other fatty deposits, you see. While everyone has android fat, only women have gynoid fat, which they store in their boobs, butt, and hips. In those lady lumps is where women house much of their estrogen - a crucial hormone for baby making. It would follow, then, that any substantial breast size would indicate a likelihood of forwarding the species. (Don't worry, small-breasted friends, your boobs are still perfect for reproduction, especially in this day and age.)

A different sexologist, named Alfred Kind, believes that the ass is the primary site of sexual attraction for human people, and that cleavage just looks like a butt crack. Either way you slice it, they serve as a visual cues that say: "This person is good for sex!" But that doesn't account for their role in bonding, which yes - is a real, perhaps even more magical thing. It has to do with the mother/infant bond, which is something that has been "hijacked" by sexual and romantic partners as humans have become more monogamous as a species.

In case you don't know much about this neural circuit, I'll give you the TL;DR version: When nips are stimulated, oxytocin is released in the nipple-owners brain. This encourages her primary focus to be her baby, and create a reward system for feeding it. As it turns out, grown ass adults can achieve the same thing by playing with their partners boobs or stimulating their nipples with their fingers and tongues, causing the woman to create a stronger neural bond with them. Nifty! Also, I feel duped, but whatever. We are the only mammals who use that behavior at foreplay, and we developed our face-to-face sexual habits partially for this reason, too - bonding. We are a species that relies on pair bonding for the survival of our children, so promoting the feelz is an important biological part of sex.

Beer Commercials and Bras: The Cultural Imprint of Cup Size

You can see why we like boobs so much, but that doesn't account for the most popular types of them. Now, I'll preface this by saying boobs of all shapes and sizes are magical, and that each person has his or her own preference - but there are a few prevalent cultural norms, which are an entirely different kind of visual cue. In the spirit of this week's fascination with the phrase "locker room talk," let's talk about what's generally portrayed as cool or hot or desirable in the media and in (usually) male culture: great big boobs. When you're growing up, you're told what has status or value, and you often take that as a status quo. Many men report that a large, luscious bust size made them feel validated - we call that phenomenon "bragging rights." I don't mean that in an accusatory manner at all - no gender or person is exempt from feeling attractive or accomplished when someone who's heralded as super duper hot wants to hook up with them.

That's not all there is too it when it comes to social norms either, though. A large part of our sexual tendencies and obsessions has to do with what's taboo. In many African cultures, for example, men don't particularly give a shit about boobs because everyone is always topless. In America, you can't even post a female nipple on Instagram with the SWOT team landing, so we spend much of our free time being surprised and excited to see a bare pair - or even more frequently, imagining what a clothed pair might look like.

As for all you lovely people who find yourself infatuated with petite breasts or enamored with E cups, rest assured that there's reason for that, too. A lot of what we find sexually attractive or arousing is a product or our initial impressions. If you saw a lot of mosquito bites during your formative years, that's often what you'll continue to be drawn to the rest of your life - and if you're heading the itty bitty titty committee, remember than you're not any less sexy for it. Far fewer men (and women!) are only drawn to big boobs than we were all raised to believe. (After all, look at plethora of hot porn stars out there rocking B cups!) Regardless of how your hooters hang, remember this: We're obsessed with all of them for a reason.

One more thing before I go - this is a song you need to hear:

Colette out.