Wet Spots

· The only thing worse for our economy than rising oil prices might be new rules that prevent investment bankers from holding client meetings in strip clubs. How will American business ever accomplish anything without tax-deductable lap dances? (usatoday.com)

· Bet you don't see this on American Inventor: A "sexual aid that may be chilled and inserted in bodily cavities for entertainment purposes." Talk about icy hotttt. (uspto.gov, via tgp.com)

· Is your Japanese love doll a little too ... leggy? Why not get one with removable gams? Because just like a real sex partner, those pesky limbs always seem to get in the way. (livejournal.com, via sexblo.gs)

· In today's scientific study from the Department of No Surprises, men who have positive images of their own bodies are more likely to engage in unsafe sex and have more partners. Meanwhile, for young girls the opposite tends to be true: low self-esteem leads to more risky behavior. Rumor also has it that college kids also like to stay up late and drink beer, but we'll wait until all the evidence is in. (reuters.com)

· Nerve sits down for a Q&A with "The Notorious Bettie Page" director Mary Herron. Any movie that take 14 years to make has to be good, right? (nerve.com)

· You may heard about that ancient Peruvian "fertility" temple, complete with five-foot high, penis-like structures; now comes evidence of a Buddhist shrine devoted to the worship of breasts. Fortunately, there are still places closer to home where you can pay homage to phallic statues and squirting nipples. It's called the internet. (nytimes.com + ridingsun.com)

· Speaking of breast worship, big-boob tabloid queens Lucy Pinder and Sophie Howard team up like some well-endowed crimefighting superduo to show off their "bristols" for Loaded magazine. (gallery @ scans.sicknote.org)

· "I've found more than a hundred terms for vagina alone." A quote from the latest FCC diatribe against Howard Stern? A sequel to Jenna Jameson's biography? Nope—it's from the the newest edition of the complete works of Shakespeare. (observer.guardian.co.uk)

· A "tumbling" coach is banned from a Catholic high school in Illinois when his gay porn past suddenly comes to light. We feel bad for the guy, but really—where did the people who hired him think he learned all those moves? (wqad.com)

· You've seen the video—now read the story behind "VD Attack Plan", the Walt Disney classic that everyone is blogging about. (Laugh if you will, but it's still better than "The Emperor's New Groove.") We can't wait for the Elton John/Tim Rice Broadway adaptation! (othercinema.com + google video)

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Previously: Morning Wood Archives/Wet Spots Archives