Amber Rose Lives All of Our Best Lives in “Walk of No Shame”

Let's imagine a perfect world together: You wake up in the morning after a night of amazing sex, mosey on your way home to shower and drink mimosas in your onesie pajamas, and encounter a series of delightful people on your way home. A construction worker catches you walking by holding your heels and says, "I respect that you enjoyed yourself last night. I think we can all agree that having sex is fun." The mayor stops to give you the key to the city, saying that he's proud of your ability to make your own decisions and celebrate your body how and when you want to. Even the grandma playing chess comments on how you remind her of herself 60 years ago. Sounds great, right? 

Unfortunately, none of that is original material of my own—Amber Rose recently released that very video with the help of Funny or Die as a commentary on the double standards men and women face in regards to sex. Ch-ch-check it out:

While dudes get high-fived and butt slapped on their way home from bangilicious nights, women are usually condemned—or worse, jeered at and called sluts. I'd write a paragraph about how fucking stupid that is, but you already know, and I already have no shits to give to the grumpy people I pass by while I'm wearing someone else's sweatshirt. They can kiss my freshly spanked ass. 

I usually call my walk (or Uber ride) home the "Just Got Laid Parade," but I digress. "The Walk of No Shame" is much more poignant. Amber's collab with Funny or Die serves as a laugh-out-loud promotion for her Slut Walk, which aims to raise awareness for sexual violence, victim blaming, derogatory labels, and gender inequality, all while offering HIV testing, sexual awareness booths, tons of snackz, and other fun activities. I didn't see it anywhere on the site, but I'm willing to bet there will be booze, too. Besides being BFFs with Amy Schumer and an all-around #queen, Amber is also the author of the book, "How to Be a Bad Bitch," which I will obviously be reviewing here upon its release.  

Don't worry if you can't jet off to L.A. to show your support for sexually liberated women everywhere. You can (and should) participate in Break the Net, a virtual activity during which you get to post fun selfies of yourself with even better hashtags. 

The only criticism I have of "Walk of No Shame?" Amber looks damn good. I usually look like I recently survived a natural disaster and let my nephew dress me for the day when I leave a suitor's house. If someone could send a "How to Look Like a Human the Morning After" video my way, I would be forever grateful.