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Best Ever OKCupid Names

EDITORIAL FEATURES

As a dude, it's tough to get the love you deserve on OKCupid. The statistics are not in your favor—women typically answer one in every five messages they receive. There are a few necessary ingredients to OKCupid mastery: One is the sparkling personality you display on your profile, and another is your very first message. 

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Once you have the wit cornered, you only need one more thing: a good username, of course. Not sure where to start? Take a cue from these Gems of the Internet. They know what's up. 

DildoGaggins

I see you, LOTR perv. 

ChodeRed 

Is it just a sexual play on words? Is it a hint? I don't know. 

Rampaging_CumBuckets

I like cum as much as the next woman, but I'm not into torrential blasts of it, thank you. 

GenitalWart

Honesty is the best policy. 

YourTeethAreWrong

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goblinpiledriver

This is an unfortunate mental image. But hey, you might get along with DildoGaggins!

PoopLips

What?!

Taco_Belle

I wish I had thought of this one myself, TBH. 

thehonestyfish

Lying fish are the worst. 

dick-nipples

You learn something new every day

DefinitelyNota_Rapist

Phew. Glad we cleared that up. 

CalmUrTits

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PornFlakes

Heh. 

WontMessageFirst

......

MicrowavedGerbil

Run. Run fast. 

Phantorgasm

What does this mean? Are your orgasm silent? Do they not happen at all? Are they paranormal, like in "It Follows?" I feel scared, yet intrigued. 

ANALCAVITIES

ENTHUSIASM.

TheLogicofToast

Is this on Broadway?

Disembodied

Alright then. 

PoopLips

I can't.

GirthZilla

Do you want me to be afraid of your penis? 

True_Scumbag

You know, I wish everyone would be this up front. 

turndown4brunch

Alright. So I would date that guy. 

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