Reincarnation? Why Not Come Back As A Dildo

In my will, there is a stipulation that if it is monetarily and legally feasible to do so, I want a viking funeral. This is true. The last thing I need is to come back as a zombie or have my corpse defiled by some god damned necrophiliac. Thanks to fine Dutch engineering, now anyone with those same fears can come back in their next life as a sex toy. It's what we always talked about as kids. 

According to de zeen (link below), a Dutch designer named Mark Sturkenboom—which incidentally is what I think Zangief used to scream in Street Fighter—has created a memory box that includes a dildo with a golden urn built in for holding the ashes of your dead lover.

Called 21 Grams, the box is made from layers of wood, which are glued together and hand-sanded to create the final shape then coated with a pale grey matt finish. It opens using a gold-plated brass key that can be worn as a necklace, and incorporates an amplifier for playing music from an iPhone that slots into the base.

It also contains a scent diffuser and a small gold-plated urn that holds up to 21 grams of ashes inside a blown-glass dildo.

I love how casually the dildo with a fucking urn in it is woven into the description. 

"21 Grams is a memory-box that allows a widow to go back to the intimate memories of a lost beloved one," explained Sturkenboom. "After a passing, the missing of intimacy with that person is only one aspect of the pain and grief. This forms the base for 21 Grams. The urn offers the possibility to conserve 21 grams of ashes of the deceased and displays an immortal desire."

"By bringing different nostalgic moments together like the scent of his perfume, 'their' music, reviving the moment he gave her her first ring, it opens a window to go back to moments of love and intimacy," he said.

It's not outside of the realm of possibility that Angelina Jolie & Billy Bob Thornton had one of these back when they were married. I wonder who got them in the divorce?

"I tried to open a new window for the way we reminisce about someone and find a dialogue for these feelings people are struggling with when somebody passes," said Sturkenboom.

"We live in a time where we are able to manipulate life, adjust the way that we look, where the possibilities are endless if it comes to body enhancements, but there is one thing we still cannot answer, the unavoidable passing of life. But I can sure try."

Every orgasm guaranteed to end in tears or your money back. I get what you're going for here, Mark, but it just feels weird. And smutty. But mostly weird. 

Via de zeen