DVD Review: “Bitch Slapped”

"You put a greased naked woman on all fours with a dog collar around her neck, and a leash, and a man's arm extended out up to here, holding onto the leash, and pushing a black glove in her face to sniff it. You don't find that offensive? You don't find that sexist?" asks Bobbi Flekman in "This Is Spinal Tap".

Watching a sweaty, near-naked Puma Swede crawling around a Porn Valley house on a leash held by two guys with erections might well inspire the same reactions in accidental viewers of Platinum X's "Bitch Slapped", but we are reminded that the check was cashed and that everyone involved knew what she/he was getting into.

Read our hesitant, back-pedaling review after the gap. - G. Ponante

- - -

Bitch Slapped

Studio: Platinum X
Director:Martin Del Toro
Cast: Puma Swede, Samantha Roxxx, Velicity Von, Lexi Love, Vanessa Figueroa

Review by: - G. Ponante

***

I've met Puma Swede and she is one of the most well-adjusted, fun, down-to-earth people I've had the pleasure of encountering in this business. But if I didn't know her and saw what befell the leggy daredevil in this movie I would think all sorts of Dworkinesque things related to misogyny and lack of choice.

She gets gagged, whipped, slapped, and otherwise treated most roughly before ultimately gargling a mouthful of sperm. I can only hope the IKEA furniture was of some comfort. Even the camera lens gets stained, and stays that way through the rest of her scene.

Vanessa Figueroa is next. Pulled mouth-first from a closet by Billy Glide (he is wearing Pharaoh-style bicep bands and sunglasses), she doesn't fare much better than Swede.

An interesting thing about Max Hardcore, JM Productions, and Platinum X movies is that often one has the opportunity to view the exact moment a performer decides that working in porn isn't for her after all, like a rollercoaster ride that must be endured. Samantha Roxx, removed from the trunk of a car with the Sharpie'd-on license plate "Slut 666" looks like she isn't having fun anymore.

Oddly enough, it was on another Platinum X movie, "Baker's Dozen 5", that I watched a woman named Samantha Knoxx silently give her notice. That Lisa Sparxx moved back to Kentiucky makes me think that having a double X in one's porn name is too on the nose for hope of future success. We like to be subtle here.

It is the solidly-built Velicity Von who is alone in appearing to be enjoying herself in "Bitch Slapped", but her sequence is almost devoid of the aggressive element that characterized other scenes.

The movie ends with Lexi Love in a three-way with Michael Stefano and the grizzled but dependable Brian Surewood. If it wasn't from the outset ("I thought 'Bitch Slapped' would be about women slapping each other," a female colleague said. "For me, that would have been more palatable and probably hot. As it was, I got queasy"), it was now clear that women were to have as little participation as possible in this movie. That was the hook. Things would be done to them at a level greater than that of most other porn movies.

So it's not a couples movie. At least it's not a first date movie.

All this soul-searching is for nought in that I watched "Bitch Slapped" with my wife and she liked it.

We really should have Puma over.

· Platinum X (platinumxpictures.com)

Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive