You Need No Girl At All: A Look Inside A 1930s Japanese Sex Catalog

There's something innately strange about the way our forebears viewed sex and pleasure. Thankfully technological advances have made devices built for pleasure less intimidating and more pleasurable, but you've got to hand it to the Japanese. Pre World War II they were pouring a lot of time and money into sex toys, and though they're almost unanimously terrifying, they're also kind of quaint and... oh nevermind, they're pure nightmare fuel.

Styleite (link below) recently put up some screengrabs of a 1930's catalog for sex toys, and in addition to the barbaric pleasure contraptions on display, there are also descriptions for each written in gloriously broken English. 

On the left is an ancient Fleshlight and on the right are a couple of dildos that look like bongs. I like that number 3 can also be used for douching, because let's face it ladies, you're gonna want to freshen up before dreaming your happy dreams. 

Here we have some condoms that look like little people, which are always fun, as well as some ben wa balls. Things then take a hard right turn on the second page, where a variety of devices designed to turn your dick into a porcupine can be found. The fact that they "particularly recommend it to elderly men" is perhaps the most slyly disturbing element at play here.

This is where things start to go from quaint to creepy. Those cactus looking deals on the top left are meant to be worn over your fingers for rubbing and tickling, but it's the various accoutrements for men to wear on their "small tools" that really kick things into high gear. I'm sure these were made out of rubber, but you can't tell that from these pictures, and they look like medieval torture devices. 

On the left is a penis pump, which as we all know was perfected some years later by the Swedish, and then before you know it, we're back to douching. 

Ah, a handy glossary of terms, I presume. Some personal favorite excerpts include "It is much better to take both (man and girl)" and "Paste this on your penis it will prevent from any sexual diseases." The best, however, has got to be Happy Powder which will "take off bad smell" on "female organ." Seriously, the Japanese are OBSESSED with making women clean their damn selves up.  

I think you can see a pattern emerging here with this "vaginal disinfectant." The message here is: Clean it up, ladies!

Via Styleite