DVD Review: “Cock Asian”

With "Cock Asian", Digital Playground proves that Asians are just like us (especially if we are already Asian).

There is a refreshing lack of geisha imagery here, and not once does someone say "Me love you long time". In fact, all the women involved are porn performers first and Asians somewhere later.

Rock out with your wok out to "Cock Asian" after the gap.
- GP

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Cock Asian

Studio: Digital Playground
Director: Robby D.
Cast: Tia Tanaka, Katsumi, Evelyn Lin, Miko Sinz, Nautica Thorn, Roxy Jezel, Charmane Star

Review by Gram Ponante

"I've got some friends inside who really want to meet you," says "Cockasian" director Robby D. to Tia Tanaka. "They think you're really hot."

Porn stars, as a rule (though it is changing), are usually really hot. Tia Tanaka's lack of response to this statement, then, might be taken as the shape of things to come. Or it might mean that the hardened porn dudes in the other room think Tanaka is hotter than other actresses they have worked with, which is just as likely.

Either way, I think it might be best to lay off on the word "hot" for a while, in the same way we might consider giving schoolgirl outfits a rest.

Tanaka is 19, she mentions to Robby D., and also agrees that her breasts are unaugmentedly large. When she goes inside to meet her dates for the afternoon, she is again asked:

"Those tits real?" (yes)

"You 19?" (yes)

It is nice to know that even in the rigidly structured world of gonzo porns there is still room for a lack of economy.

The only differences between the incipient "Cockasian" series and more established Digital Playground/Robby D. joint "Jack's Playground" are (1) Asians, and (2) lack of interstitial gags. Otherwise this movie might be one of the scene from the 30-odd episodes of "Jack's Playground" that happened to have an Asian woman in it.

"Cockasian" has a hard-rockin' opening sequence that empties out into a standard gonzo movie, although Robby D. as the offstage voice is less irritating than his counterparts from other companies, who sound like they are stammeringly delighted to be there. D. is excited to be there but he doesn't sound like he's going to follow the girls home. I think this is an important distinction.

Anyway, Tanaka pulls off a charming scene in a room with a stucco ceiling. She offers her cheek for the cumshot rather than taking a full frontal onslaught. This I found interesting in a Hollywood way. Is that another way porn is going mainstream?

And remember: she's 19 and her breasts are real.

Katsumi shows up next. Above the neck she is dressed like a 50's pulp movie star, with a pink scarf and Lolita sunglasses. Below these she is wearing a mesh onesie with checkered tights, as if Eon McKai robbed a lingeries store for babies. She performs a solo scene on the upstairs landing.

As there is no cock, fake or real, in this scene, the title "Cockasian" breaks down immediately. Unless it's your cock, of course, but I'm assuming you just watch these movies for the repartee.

Tiny Evelyn Lin is double-teamed by some fellows, including DP unofficial contract star Scott Nails. This is a taut scene, and D. very quickly cuts to the two guys' faces just before Lin gets her inevitable comeuppance. There is just about nothing worse than lingering shots of the guy's facial expression at moments like this, but the fast jump was well done and added something to the pacing.

D. articulates America's wonder in the next scene, featuring Miko Sinz. "Asians are not supposed to have an ass like that," D. says in wonderment, at least three times. For her part, Sinz is the least stereotypically Asian woman in the movie, leading the conversation by repeating several times "Do you like what you see?", "I like when it's nice and wet", and "I'm feeling slutty today". It is like they are all dubbing a techno song.

This is the scene I might point to if someone were to ask me what the difference was between a porn girl and a hooker. There was a subtle difference in attitude that seemed out of place. Not that hookers are bad. Oh God no.

Nautica Thorn, like Katsumi, does a solo scene, this time with a dildo. Thorn acts like a complete goofball as she mugs for the camera. I think I want her to be my girlfriend.

Finally, Roxy Jezel receives the business end of three fellows. It was a good scene, but I was still thinking about Nautica Thorn.

· Digital Playground: "Cock Asian" (digitalplayground.com)
· Order "Cock Asian" (adultdvdempire.com)

Previously: Porn Valley Dispatch Archive