Five Films Too Hot For The UK

Earlier this week, Britain passed an amendment to the 2003 Communications Act, bringing VOD porn under the mandate of the British Board of Film Censors – and outlawing a whole lot of sex acts from appearing in British porn. Among the things you can't portray in hardcore UK action? Spanking, caning, aggressive whipping, penetration by any object "associated with violence," physical or verbal abuse (even consensual!), urolagnia (known as "water sports"), role-playing as non-adults, physical restraint, humiliation, female ejaculation, strangulation, facesitting, and fisting (we're exhausted just typing all that out!).

Don't get how big a deal this new ban is? Allow us to drive the message home the best way we know how: by offering up a selection of super hot sex flicks that would now be illegal if shot by British producers.

Belladonna's Buttface: As a one time holder of the Dirtiest Girl in Porn title, Belladonna's undoubtedly violated the BBFC's regulations on more than one occasion. But even her tamer work flies in the face of British regulation. "Buttface" – a love song to butts, faces, and the magic that happens when the two manage to meet – celebrates facesitting, ass eating, and smothering, and winds up in violation of Britain's new rules with its very premise. Given the joy that Alexis Texas, Belladonna, Kelly Divine, London Keyes, Charley Chase, Kimberly Kane, and Ashley Fires derive from sitting on each other's faces (and having their faces sat upon), it's hard to see what's rubbed the UK the wrong way about facesitting. And that's only the beginning...

Jada Fire is Squirtwoman: Of all the items on the BBFC's list, it's female ejaculation that's raised the most outcry – and for good reason. A ban on female ejaculation is a ban on visible evidence of female sexual pleasure and orgasm, which should be the last thing anyone should be outlawing (especially if they're claiming to stand up for women!). We're unsure why squirting wound up on the list – though if the Brits are anything like the Aussies (who also banned the practice from their porn), it could be because they don't actually believe female ejaculation is real, and are conflating the practice with urination (which, we should note, is also on the banned list). We can't quite fathom how anyone in this day and age could still think female ejaculation is a myth. But we know just the person to dispel that sorry belief: and it's Jada Fire, who earns the Squirtwoman title with some of the gushiest orgasms known to (wo)mankind.

Rocco Siffredi's Perfect Slaves #5: Like fellow Evil Angel director Belladonna, Rocco Siffredi hits more than a few points on the BBFC's list – among them, choking and physical and verbal abuse. Given Rocco's extreme popularity among female performers (we know quite a few ladies who have him high on their, ahem, to do list), it seems fairly clear that no performers are opposed to the acts that populate his films (and, more to the point, that quite a few consider them to heighten their pleasure). But with the BBFC's new restrictions, no UK performers will ever have the chance to be slaves as perfect as the ones featured in this film. Fire up this film and take a minute (or more than a few minutes) to appreciate how lucky we are that the Italian Stallion wasn't born a Brit.

The Innocence of Youth: Digital Sin's Lolita fetish may teeter on the edge of taboo for some - but in the UK, it's straight up illegal thanks to that clause about role-playing as non-adults. Perhaps the British Board fears that films like this might lead us on a slippery slope into abhorrent behavior – but the only slippery thing we see in this film is the super wet pussies of all the girls who are turned on by play acting as innocent young things.

Tristan Taormino's Rough Sex 2: Generally speaking, restrictions like the BBFC's are set up to "protect" female performers – making it all the more ironic that the regulation flouting "Rough Sex 2" is specifically designed as a catalogue of the fantasies and desires of the women featured within. Taormino's vignettes – which feature spanking, facesitting, physical abuse, humiliation, and physical restraint, to name a few – are scripted and cast by the women performing them, more fantasy fulfillment than anything else. But perhaps that should serve as a reminder that censorship and regulation is rarely actually about protecting people and more about silencing them and their desires. Let's all raise a glass (of lube) to the fact that Taormino and her cast (Madison Young, Dylan Ryan, Bobbi Starr, James Deen, Claire Adams, April Flores, Nathan Menace, Adrianna Nicole, Chayse Evans, Mark Davis, Sinnamon Love, Shane Diesel, Richard Mann, Orpheus Black, and Alonzo Knight) were able to loudly, and proudly declare their desires in the making of this really hot film. God bless America(n porn producers), everyone!