Sad News Folks… The Space Sex Geckos Have All Died

We reported last month that Russia had lost contact with its satellite full of sex geckos, and we told you of John Oliver's campaign for Russia to "Go Get Those Geckos." Russia then claimed that they got those geckos. Turns out they were full of shit. 

According to The Wire (link below), the Russkies failed those geckos and those of us eager to see them return to their normal gecko lives, letting them die in space like common salamanders. 

The satellite carrying the geckos returned to the city of Orenburg on Monday. A team from Russia's Federal Space Agency opened the satellite to find the geckos all deceased. The Russian Academy of Sciences Institute for Medical-Biological Problems is helping to determine a cause of death, as well as the time of death. The two Russian associations offered a joint statement to The Moscow Times: "All the geckos, unfortunately, died."

Too bad the geckos weren't as cuddly as that pooch up there that Putin was so keen to cuddle with. I'd be willing to bet that if the satellite were full of cuddly dogs, this story would've turned out differently. There is one bit of good news however.

On the bright side, the flies on board the satellite survived — and reproduced in space.

Hooray? Here's a picture of Putin with a rocket, just because...

Via The Wire