You’ll Love the New Jessica Simpson in a One-Piece with Flowers in Her Hair

Jessica Simpson has slimmed down and recently has been posting pictures of herself in bathing suits. Well, it is summer, and she is hot. It's a good combination. For her, it's not the humidity, it's the heat, and it's radiating off her toned form in waves of arousing in this shockingly sexy shot. 

And where else would we expect to see such an image but at our favorite alcoholic's site, Drunken Stepfather (link below). They have an image of Jessica and some friend, at least I assume it's a friend, who is wearing a bikini as if to show up Jessica at her own game. 

Does she? Nah! Jessica has a wreath of flowers and looks surprisingly like the Italian parliamentarian and porn star Ilona Staller, who was married to pop artist Jeff Koons and the two posed for hyper-realistic sculptures of the two of them schuptting. That's Yiddish for fucking, you goys. 

Now, the Drunken Stepfather has complained that the 30-something mother is hiding behind the one-piece bathing suit, and Jessica should have, like her friend, let more hang out in a bikini. Duly noted, but remember, dear reader, that the Drunken Stepfather has a substance abuse problem that gives him a warped perspective. 

Via Drunken Stepfather