Ireland Baldwin Worships Summer in a Bikini

Ireland Baldwin in a bikini. Is there any need to go on? Do I really have to spell it out for you in words? If a picture is worth a thousand words, then this picture of the beautiful Baldwin offspring is worth a thousand-million sperm. And that's just from me. 

Our lovely lady was caught feeding her Instagram with her body stuffed into a killer bikini (link below), which I call a bakini, for just looking at it turns up my temperature to levels that raise my dough. That means she's good enough to eat, and I would have her dish any time, in a bikini or out. The choice is hers. I wouldn't be so presumptuous as to tell her which. I'm not a monster, just a masturbator. 

Which begs the question: Do you, dear readers, like to be reminded that you, like me, are masturbators, driven to this site for one specific purpose? I'd like to know in the comments below, because it was once the cardinal rule in pornography not to call the readership jerk-offs, but I feel that such etiquette is antiquated. 

Yes, I believe we are all proud masturbators and to pretend that our interests are anything other than carnal is the height of hypocrisy. But you tell me. 

Via Instagram