It’s the First of May, Outdoor Fuckin’ Starts Today

Happy first of May everyone!

Big changes are happening outdoors, and I couldn't be more excited because it means that it's time for some outdoor fuckin'!

Musician Jonathan Coulton recorded this anthem in 2003, but this NSFW fan version has a paltry 407 views at press time. That's a travesty, because this is a ballad from the heart, a love letter to the tenets we hold most dear, like fucking people outdoors. It's the American dream.

Once you watch the video, this song will be stuck in your head in the best way imaginable, and it will encourage you to throw caution to the wind, stand up, take charge of your life, grab somebody and head outdoors to fuck them outside. This is what Thomas Jefferson had in mind when he wrote the Declaration of Independence, but those bewigged ninnies on the Continental Congress made him take it out. It's a fact that Jefferson liked fucking, and he probably fucked Sally Hemings outside in the woods near Monticello.

Or not, you know, but either way, this song is fantastic. Put it on, throw on the slideshow with plenty of terrific shots of people getting it on in nature, and go about your day. It's only the first of May once a year, so enjoy it.