Maxim’s Hot 100: Everything’s Coming Up Lohan

Just like in boxing, where any guy wearing pants can throw on a belt and call himself "Champion," just about every famous actress can probably find some website or magazine to declare her the hottest or sexiest or most "do-able." female on the planet. (Maybe all three.) But we suppose a few carry more weight than others, since even legitimate news organizations are reporting on Maxim's Hot 100 list, which finds Lindsay Lohan in this year's top spot. Her nipple-riffic antics not withstanding, it tough to gauge exactly what put her over the top of Jessica Alba (FHM's Sexiest celeb) and Scarlett Johansson (who was Playboy's). Or why foul-mouthed pixie Sarah Silverman made the cover of the Hot 100 issue, complete with a spread inside, even though she's only No. 29. Or why last year's winnder Eva Longoria dropped eight slots to No. 9. Or why Ashley Olsen is number 37, yet her identical twin sister isn't even on the list. There are a lot of uncertainties in life, but the biggest may be why we can't get all these gals together for some kind of battle royale pillow fight to unify all the titles. Our society needs a queen whose legitimacy is unchallenged—otherwise all we have is anarchy.

· Maxim's 2007 Hot 100 (maxim.com, which seems to be buckling under the pressure of all that babery today)
· "Lindsay Lohan tops Maxim's 'Hot 100'" (cnn.com)
· Maxim Hot 100 2007 Girls List (gallery links @ torontopics.com)
· Sarah Silverman: Sexy Maxim Girl (justjared.buzznet.com)
· Maxim Hot 100 '07 on VH1, May 22 (vh1.com)

Previously: FHM's 100 Sexiest Women in the World 2007, Top 50 Sexiest Bums (Or Are They?), 100 Sexiest Bodies