“Swingers Retreat” But Then Come Back With A Charge

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Before they decide to tie the knot for good, Jesse Jane and Chad White are going to put their relationship through one final test: they're hunting humans for sport. Wait, sorry, wrong movie! Jesse and Chad are going to go to a swingers' resort, because they want to see what their marriage is like six years from now when they're bored of banging each other.

Swing, swang, swung. We don't think porn is in a specific phase right now (after parody and whatnot), but we've noticed a general increase in the amount of swingers' smut coming out of major studios. To what do we attribute this trend? It'd be easy to blame it on the Baby Boomers, or maybe books like "Sex at Dawn," but there's nothing we can point to definitively.

Jesse and Chad are nervous about embarking on their first-ever swinging experiences, and their anxiety only increases once they meet their comrades-at-genitals. Keiran Lee and Capri Cavanni are extremely anxious to swap with the newbies, but Chad and Jesse could use a drink or two first. Well, at least Jesse could; Chad is happy being preyed upon by Capri, who uses her bikini-enhanced cleavage to hypnotize Chad and lay him on his back and slip his jeans off. There are a number of things we like about this scene (besides the fucking): the bedsheets are zebra-print because of course they are, and Chad wears dog tags, though we can't tell whether its for fashion or in earnest. If it's the former, we LOL at them.

Meanwhile, Jesse is getting down and dirty with Keiran, and though she's initially very reluctant to even get near the freak, her animal instincts soon kick in and she rides his dick in increasingly acrobatic ways. Seriously, she treats the guy like a pommel horse! We know visually appealing positions don't always feel the best, so it's appropriate that Jesse gets a second (and more sensual) experience with Danny Mountain, the smooth Brit who charms Jesse's shorts right off her ass. He gets a little rough too, but he knows how to do it right. Danny chokes Jesse properly, whilst Keiran seems to hold her by her armpit in a pseudo-sleeper hold.

"Swingers Retreat" will certainly be an educational experience for all who watch it, especially those of you who are married; you may curse yourself for not doing this before getting hitched. Hey, it's never too late to retreat!

· Photos and trailer courtesy of Digital Playground (digitalplayground.com)
· Buy "Swingers Retreat" (store.fleshbot.com)