Sex Blog Roundup: Greasing It Up

July 31, 2007
JONNO

It's a philosophical question that has occupied great minds since time immemorial: which came first, the stripper or the pole? For enlightenment, we turn to this week's compendium of some of our favorite moments from the sex blog scene, culled from the finest strippers, peepshow performers and customers we could get our sweaty virtual hands on. Naughty nurses, blowjob faces, errant underwear, and Tokyo businessmen ... there's something for everyone in that magic area at the edge of the stage.

Grab a fistful of dollars as we welcome Chelsea Girl to the limelight after the jump.

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Sex Blog Roundup
by Chelsea Girl

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Stripping 102: Your First Night

If it's really busy, don't even bother sitting down to talk to them. You can use a total hit and run hustle. Just say, "Hi, I'm and I want to play with you in the VIP room." Yes = "lets go." No = NEXT! "Hi, I'm let's go play in the VIP."Once you've got them back to the lapdance/VIP area, or if you're doing the lapdance right there where they've been sitting, sit down and cross your legs over theirs sexily and say, "it's $xx, and we'll wait for the next song, okay?" If that doesn't prompt them to pay you, tell them you need to collect first, then smile and add "business before pleasure."

- Hobo Stripper

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The Tokyo Businessman

The men had been coming into the peepshow as usual, but they just hadn't been picking me. Sometimes they don't. Some girls claimed that men were mysteriously drawn to them when they're ovulating, constantly picking them out of the lineup for shows. Maybe I wasn't ovulating.
It was about halfway through a Saturday night shift when I left my booth to go upstairs for a break. Suddenly, I saw a Japanese man headed my way. I just stopped in my tracks and slowly started walking backwards, back to my booth. I just had a feeling about him.

- Diary of a Peepshow Girl

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A Quick Rant. Try Craig's List, Dickweeds

The strip club is not a dating service. Seems like common sense, yes?
In the past couple weeks I've been getting asked on dates more than I've been getting asked for dances.
The most infuriating thing is these guys just won't take no for an answer.
I try to be easy on them. I tell them I'm too busy with school, or I have to work, or I have to go take care of my sick dog, or I have to babysit, or I have to stay in and wash my hair. Never works.

- The Stripper Hates You

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Who's in My Underwear?

"Dancing" again is a different animal from sex-for-pay. Different indeed. I'd forgotten.
Well, in all honesty, I didn't have anything to compare it to when last I did. Dancing, I mean. Dancing naked for money.
The way you sell yourself as an object of gyrating desire is completely different than one of abject sexual complicity. The girls have the scene sewn up. They've got props, a gazillion clubs, and a culture that allows for men meeting in office towers before heading out to get sat on by a g-stringed amazon in stilettos. And the girls have it figured out, the parrying of priapic bellicosity; but mind you, they also have to deal with the inherent sexisim involved with the purveying (suggestion) of female desire, along with all the shit that goes with it--but boys, we're not quite as sorted out about the whole thing.

- Note For Rent

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Birthday Bliss--His Turn

He got a ton of presents from me, but the greatest one was of course, the one that I presented him with that night in bed. I had purchased a nurse uniform, crotchless panties and lots of accessories for my lovely surprise. He woke up to find me leaning on top of him, my breasts almost popping out of the sexy nurse outfit.
"Good Morning Mr. Birthday Boy. My name is Badspice and I'm going to be your nurse for today. I need to check your temperature," I said in a soft voice as I leaned on top of him and kissed him slowly on the lips. "Damn, I wished nurses looked like you, I'd be sick all the time," he stated.

- Chronicles of a Platinum Pussy

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I'm a Woman Man, Episode 2: Faces

The thing I like about faces are that they are very deceptive. In my experience, some of the most evil worn faces have requested the most sensitive caring gestures. Slow kisses, light licks, easy strokes. While some of the most angelic, innocent faces have made the more aberrant requests. I've cum on the angelic faces with pleas from their angelic mouths for more. The angelic faces have asked me to fuck their ass. The angelic faces with their angelic eyes have sent the message that if we were alone in a darkened room, that face would wanna get fucked by my dick to near choking. The pretty unassuming faces have whispered "I want you to fuck the shit outta me."

- The Dirty Details

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Thumbnail: The Spice Twins take to the stage (TGP/preview gallery @ adultelite.com, via Ask Jolene)

Previously: Sex Blog Roundup Archive