Netflix Picks: Rip-Offs With Ripped Off Clothing

November 28, 2012
OTTIMO-MASSIMO

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We generally try to direct you towards films that have both smut and substance (such as last week when we looked at the erotic adaptations of novels), but today we're feeling grimy--culturally grimy--so we're giving you a couple of films that are so trashy and silly that they approach the divine.

1. Girls Gone Dead: Lots of movies and TV shows have parodied the "Girls Gone Wild" franchise, but this movie makes it the centerpiece of a bikini-clad teen murderfest. Six hottie high school pals reunite during their first collegiate spring break, and they've somehow scored free reign over a big vacation house in Florida. Down the road in Daytona, the surly perverts who run "Crazy Girls Unlimited" are trying to film a bunch of drunk college girls taking their tops off, but they keep getting interrupted by a big scary killer with medieval weaponry. They shut down their show, but the party gets moved to the big vacation house and the killer follows. Our good homie Ryan Keely takes her top off in this film, but she's definitely not the only one who does so. You can see many a gal sans bikini top at 2:30, 18:30, 29:00, 30:45, 43:45, 47:30, 49:00, 53:00, 1:01:00, and 1:02:30. By the way, the tagline for this film is "Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Topless..." We thought you should know.

2. Assault of the Party Nerds: The tagline for this movie is "Tonight We're Gonna Party Like It's 1989!" which is accurate because this was made in 1989 and then promptly released on VHS. It is, in almost every way, a rip-off of "Revenge of the Nerds." It's about a downtrodden nerd frat called Lambda Alpha Beta which only has four members and needs to find a way to boost its roster; these nerds get terrorized by the jocks, but the jocks are too narcissistic to give their ladies proper lovin', and the babes end up with the brainiacs. You can probably recreate the script without every seeing this movie, so why should you watch it? Well, Michelle Bauer and Linnea Quigley go topless, and they're pretty big in the B-movie world! Check for them at 17:00, 21:00, 27:00, 1:15:00, and 1:20:00. In the Philippines, this movie was called "The Nerd Terminator." Again, just wanted you to know that.