Cathy Heaven, In The Stairwell, With A Diamond Butt Plug

Watching the machine-crafted Cathy Heaven crawl up some dirty stairs to service two dandies is the kind of fun Edward Gorey never imagined.

We are fond of the work of Tanya Hyde and the combination of lawlessness, whimsy, and filth this British pornographer brings to the screen. In "God Save the Kink," Steampunk Edwardian fucksters get themselves into a series of rigid but colorful positions while sporting a mixture of crazy Carnaby Street gear and fetishwear. And the sex that results is that style of formalized, gape-driven hardcore that looks more like art than fun.

But who knows?

When we first meet Cathy Heaven (in a scene called "Hell's Bitch," though she seems really nice), she crawls past the camera, which follows her at ass-level up a flight of grungy stairs. Two dedicated followers of fashion await her there, fully erect.

Fleshbot Readers, I am sure each of you has made the sex in your share of stairwells, but it is the porn professional who remains ready to go even in a tableau like this one. Imagine: the two guys have to position themselves at the head of the stairs and somehow enturgidify their organs of generation. Then Cathy Heaven must insert her diamond buttplug and then crawl up the stairs. Does she walk past them to get to the bottom of the stairs in order to crawl right back up? Emily Post might suggest she get to the bottom of the stairs by a different route and then surprise them.

"Make it more like a wedding," Emily Post might say. "Don't let him see the diamond butt plug before you're blowing him."

"God Save the Kink" is one of those stylized, wordless movies that you'd expect to be playing in the background of a really depraved party in an NC-17 film starring James Spader or Willem Dafoe, but just because it currently isn't doesn't make me less impressed. In fact, I would really like to visit that stairwell.

·Follow Gram Ponante on Twitter

· Harmony Films (harmonyvision.com)
· Buy "God Save the Kink" (gamelink.com)