Ask Camille: Make It Special

I have a problems with my girlfriend. We just see each other from time to time and now we are just friends. I think if I can get her to some sensual meeting she could be mine again. Any thoughts of how can I get her to that meeting? I need your opinion.

Aw, well, I'm really sorry to hear that.  It's really hard when relationships wax and wane like that because you feel like you're not on the solid ground you need to get what you want.  Of course, your letter is lacking certain information here, so I can't figure out for sure why you're just friends or how long it's been this way, so I'll try to be as straight-forward as I can be in the hopes that it'll help you and maybe others as well.

You mention that you get to see each other only from time to time, which is definitely an issue.  I'm not sure whether you're long distance or just very busy, but feeling that kind of separation is a definite strain on any relationship.  If you end up moving past the issues and get back on track, try to find a way to carve out some quality time together.

In terms of actually getting her to meet up with her, just be up front.  Tell her you'd like to get together and spend some time.  You can't force anyone anywhere they don't want to be, so you just need to be direct.  If she says no, then all you can do is accept it, but if you don't apply much pressure on the situation, she may very well say yes.

Then, get planning.  This doesn't mean candles and roses and champagne...  It means making an evening that will actually make her feel special.  Make (or get, if you're not a great cook) her a favourite meal, put on some music you know she loves that will also set the mood, make the space comfortable for her...  It doesn't need to be pressure, just a nice time spent together.

Once you've enjoyed some food, be clear that you'd really like to get close to her and make her feel good.  If she's game, take the lead, but still ask her what she'd like.  This takes a certain amount of smoothness, so just try to not seem awkward when you ask.  Remember that you're asking because you want to make her feel amazing.  Just try to follow her cues and see her reactions.  Be giving, but don't forget about your needs too.  Just try to stir up the type of passion that you think will make her feel good.  Maybe that's fiery, maybe it's more subdued and calm...  Play off of what you know about her.

It's impossible to know exactly how she's feeling, but if you can get to spend time with her and show her that you can be considerate and that things can still be wonderful between you, there's a real chance that you can both be open to reconciling.

· See more of Camille Crimson at The Art of Blowjob and CamilleCrimson.com (theartofblowjob.com + camillecrimson.com)

Camille Crimson is not a doctor. This column is for informational and entertainment purposes only. For more advice, head over to the Ask Camille archive.