Netflix Picks: Great Poets And Fake Passions

What do William Shakespeare and Brian Jones (of The Rolling Stones) have in common? Well, they're both brilliant artists, they both brought big changes to their respective fields, and they're revered to this day. Oh, they also both have movies about them that are largely fictional but contain a lot of sex.

What better way is there to honor someone's memory than by insisting that they got laid often?

1. Shakespeare in Love: If you haven't seen "Shakespeare in Love" before, you're missing out on one of the greatest romantic comedies of the 1990s (if not of all time); if you don't care about rom-coms, then you should know you're missing out on one of Gwyneth Paltrow's most fun and least clothed roles. Joseph Fiennes plays young Shakespeare and Gwyneth plays Viola, an actor who has to disguise herself as a man named Thomas Kent in order to be allowed to perform (such was the era). Once Shakespeare discovers Viola's true identity, they begin a passionate affair, and this gives him the inspiration to write "Romeo and Juliet." We shant spoil the story for you, but be prepared for a lot of poetry said during sex. Shakespeare's stuff is already pretty raunchy, but when Fiennes says stuff like "my love is deep" while having intercourse, it straight up makes us giggle. Look for Paltrow's rockin' bod at 47:00, 48:00, and 53:00.

2. Stoned: Brian Jones was one of the founding members of The Rolling Stones, and was the unofficial leader of the group for a while, but he was drugs took their toll on him and he was asked to leave the Stoned in 1969. He died less than a month later by drowning in his swimming pool. "Stoned" supposes, as others have suspected and claimed, that Brian Jones was actually murdered by a builder who was working on his house, and the movie is a dramatization of his last days. Truth be told, this movie has received some intensely negative reviews, but if you can enjoy a movie for the sake of having things play over your eyeballs (or if you follow the advice implanted in the title) then you're sure to get a kick out of the trippy drug sequences, regular nudity, and curious tensions between Brian and those in his world. The beautiful Monet Mazur plays Anita Pallenberg, Brian's ex and a notorious hottie, Tuva Novotny plays Anna Wohlin, and you can see them both naked in various flashbacks at 4:00, 24:00, 28:00, 39:00, 41:00, 43:00, 55:00, 1:15:00, and 1:25:00.

[At top: various steamy scenes from "Shakespeare in Love" (movies.netflix.com)]

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