Pardon Me, Would You Have Any Gape Going On? “Butt! Of Course”

Ass. Ass, ass, ass, ass, ass. Booty rocking everywhere. We don't know how we can communicate this to you any better: the camera orbits Eliska Cross's butt cheeks like a lonely satellite scanning for life on a desolate planet, desperately craving a signal from the surface, falling in love with the undisturbed perfection, the smoothness of the land, and the silence.

This movie is exactly like that, but five times, because there are a bunch of butts doing their thing (and having things done to/with/on them).

We don't know where Eliska Cross went to nursing school, but her approach to triage nursing is the bomb. "Is the patient conscious?" she asks herself, noting that Leslie Taylor isn't. She tries sucking his cock to revive him, but that just puts blood in his boner, so she attempts to redistribute it by hopping atop him and squeezing his cock in her ass. Eliska's bouncy butt bangs against Leslie's lap, jolting energy into nearby arteries, and he regains consciousness in time to cup her ass in his hands and celebrate her success by showing off her gape. Obviously, the whole floor of the hospital then breaks out in applause and Eliska Cross becomes the new Florence Nightingale.

Nobody else in "Butt! Of Course" is wearing any costumes, so we have less of an idea of what's going on in each scene, but that's not going to stop our fun. Karen gets fucked by Kid Jamaica, and the only story we care about here is the one about the journey that Kid's spit makes as it drops from his mouth, slides down Karen's crack, lubricates her ass, gets fucked in and out of her colon, drips down her pussy, and finds its place--a comfortable spot to call its own--on her clit. If we had to describe this scene in one word, it would be "juicy."

Everything in Ivana Sugar's scene appears to be in the same color scheme, except for her oxblood heels, and this angers us. Fortunately, she hides her shoes behind Sabby's head as he fucks her in the ass, so we can get over our OCD and enjoy the banging. But, we ask, do they enjoy the banging? Their faces are neutral, expressionless, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes you can't even smile or moan through sex because you're locked in amazement at the sight of your own genitals interlocking with another's. Actually, as Ivana slides her sphincter down around Sabby's shaft, Sabby looks up at her with something like love in his eyes. This may be the moment his life changes forever, the day he meets his wife: a golden goddess towering above him with puffy nipples and pouty lips.

Yes, there's nothing like a solid all-anal movie to make you feel good about pornography, and the fact that "Butt! Of Course" has such a clever title makes this all the sweeter. Well played, New Sensations.

· New Sensations (newsensations.com)
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