A Hot Hodgepodge Of Beach Bodies For America’s Birthday!

July 4, 2012
OTTIMO-MASSIMO

It's the Fourth of July, it's Independence Day, the United States of America is 236 years-old and she is a straight-up MILF. Today, people are using their day off to bask in the glory of a hot American summer, and there's no better place to do that than the beach. We thought we'd join them with a big ol' post about babes, bikinis, and other kinds of shore-based sexiness we find from sea to shining sea.

When we think about bodies on the beach, there are a few names that come to mind immediately:

Leilani Dowding - Leilani first caught our eyes when we noticed that she was going topless on the beach all the time, and we soon realized that her nudity has almost nothing to do with looking pretty and getting attention, but is really an expression of who she is as a person.
Jennifer Nicole Lee - She is our Ultimate Beach MILF, a self-made woman, a fitness guru, and a hard-bodied honey who takes to the surf in the skimpiest of thongs and with the wettest of t-shirts. Sometimes she has nip slips, and we respect that.
Shauna Sand - We've been tight with Shauna ever since we interviewed her about her sex tape, and during that discussion we learned that Shauna spent her young adulthood with her breasts hanging out on a foreign shore. How could we not associate her with beaches? The woman's last name is Sand! Also, did you see that time she and her man had a bunch of sex by the sea? It was hot.
Nicole "Coco" Austin - Coco doesn't need hot weather and sparkling waters to show skin; she likes to take off her clothing anytime, anywhere. However, some of our favorite moments with her have taken place on the beach, and when you think about her body as often as we do, you can't help but marvel at the bikinis that (mostly) manage to hold her curves in.

Ah, yes, beach fashion: it's the arena where nudity, utility, and style duke it out over sand-encrusted butt cheeks and sweaty skin covered in sea salt.

· Some people say that the best beach fashion is no clothing at all.
· Belen Rodriguez probably has an enormous bikini collection, but she prefers to hit the beach sans top.
· We're not saying you need to show a lot of skin to have a sexy time at the shore. Heck, half the fun of beach banging is peeling your lover's swimsuit off.
· Also, Kate Upton. No commentary necessary.

But hey, we don't need celebrities and models to tell us how to enjoy the sand and surf. We just have to grab some sunscreen and look into our hearts. Or, if our hearts don't have the answer, we look at amateur porn.

· This young woman never hits the beach without ample sunscreen, sunglasses, a frisbee, and a bag full of anal toys.
· If you get tired of the taste of seawater, head back to shore and give your lover some head. It's salty, but it's a human saltiness.
· Really though, beach sex can be complicated, so if you're planning on doing some shore piping, you may want to browse our How-To guide!

Or maybe you'd rather skip all of the crowds and heat, stay at home, and get the rest and relaxation that you painfully deserve. We're cool with that! Hey, how often do you get a Wednesday off to do nothing? Enjoy your peace. And, if you start to pine for peaceful waves and hot young honeys, you can hop on your Netflix and check out our favorite vacation-themed films with naughty content! Yes, today, everywhere is "Sizzle Beach, U.S.A."