All This Useless “Booty Shorts”

Don't get us wrong; all these women look great in booty shorts, and we even appreciate that they manage to fuck in them. But we want to see booty shorts worn inappropriately at a christening, not in a controlled porn environment.

Someone had the idea—and it was a good one—to squeeze Krissy Lynn, Jessi Palmer, Amy Brooke, Kendall Karson, and Layla Rivera into some hot pants and see what happened.

"People like the hot pants," the pitch might have gone.

But we expect more from the great and falsely modest Mike Quasar than women doing a little tease at a secure Porn Valley rental home and then moving their booty shorts aside to allow their partners access. We want to see that shit walking down Ventura Blvd., squeezing avocados at Ralph's, hiking Runyon Canyon; booty shorts are worn to shock innocent passersby, not jaded porn Production assistants on a closed set.

It is enjoyable to watch Lynn et al pay labe service to the title of the movie by strategically, awkwardly keeping their shorts on, but in the end my favorite scene was the last one, in which Layla Rivera wears her shorts long enough to attract a mate, and then they go away, as they fucking should, having done their goddamn job.

If there is to be a sequel to this, I demand that the booty shorts be deployed into the real world, to pumpkin patches, mariachi concerts, and PTA meetings; because porn should be tabooty.

· Zero Tolerance (zerotolerance.com)
· Buy "Booty Shorts" (tlavideo.com)