The World Needs Julia Roberts-Based Parody Porn: “Pretty Lady”

Can you name any of Julia Roberts's movies that have been pornified recently? We can't. Fortunately, Nica Noelle has remedied this situation by making a smutty adaptation of the ever-popular "Pretty Woman," the story of a young, sassy, and beautiful prostitute and the rich gentleman who falls in love with her. You're probably dying to know who takes Julia's role, or Richard Gere's role. More importantly, who will be the porn version of Jason Alexander?

From the looks of things, Gracie Glam is our plucky prostie, Manuel Ferrara is the brooding baller, and although there's no clear Jason Alexander-type figure, Rocco Reed, Charles Dera, Alyssa Branch, and Charlie Chase all have (body) parts to play (with).

Whereas "Pretty Woman" features a stuffy workaholic Richard Gere who devotes zero time to pleasure, "Pretty Lady" has Manuel Ferrara, who at least puts aside time to fuck Alyssa Branch. And we're not talking about some quick fuck on the way to work; they 69, that's not the kind of thing you do on a whim. Once Manuel sticks his thick cock inside Alyssa's tight bush, he wants to stay in there, staring into her eyes, until he bursts all over her pubes.

When Manuel and Gracie first get together, they don't have any sex! Don't worry, they eventually bang like crazy, but their first interactions are completely "professional" in nature. Sure, it seems like a sweet obstacle for their intimacy, but Manuel has no idea what kind of sex he could be having. Gracie's tryst with the smooth yet brutal Charles Dera is ridiculously steamy: he peels off her panties slowly, walks his fingers down her stomach, and breathes in her whimpers as he plays with her pussy. By the time he's balls-deep in her, Gracie is clawing at the sheets with ecstasy.

Finally, Gracie and Manuel have sex--emotional sex with hair stroking and smooching--and everything becomes awesome. They get to stop denying their feelings and begin exploring each other's bodies, and after all their waiting and wanting, Manuel is sure to savor each moment that it takes to undress Gracie, pull her on his lap, and lower her pussy onto his huge cock. It's a precious scene. Does Manuel look a little goofy when sucking Gracie's nipple? Yes, he does, but doesn't everyone look a bit silly when munching on boob?

Even if no other Julia Roberts movie is turned into porn, we're still excited about all "Pretty Lady" has accomplished. It's hot, it's romantic, and it's proved that you don't need dashing gray hair to be as badass as Richard Gere.

· Sweet Sinema (sweetsinema.com)
· Buy "Pretty Lady" (adultdvdempire.com)