Assed In Translation 2: Anissa Kate

It is like watching a sex clown. The impressively constructed French pornstress Anissa Kate sits spread-legged in an outfit designed like a 14-year-old's MySpace page and sucking the life out of a lollipop.

Oh, it's true that I don't like clinical gaping anus movies, but I was more than willing to give "Anal Bombshells" a try, if only because the title reminded me of something my Australian Shepherd does in my hated neighbor's yard.

But I was not prepared for this onslaught of cartoonish sex and distractingly loud POV cinematography. It seemed like director/co-star Mike Adriano was deliberately rubbing his thumb against the microphone to make the movie seem extra pervy and amateurish. Maybe it worked?

And Kate herself was all forced sexuality; putting it out there is one thing, but she put it so far out there that it went past me.

And she wouldn't put the goddamned lollipop down.

Around the time she struck the lollipop, Adriano began handling the camera more gracefully, and a strenuous assfucking scene emerged. But at what cost? Will movies like this teach our nation's young people that the only way they can get in through the back door is to join the circus?

· Evil Angel (evilangel.com)
· Buy "Anal Bombshells" (tlavideo.com)