“2 Dicks In 1 Girl” Teaches You About Fractions!

If Klarisa Leone has two dicks in her hands and she's going to put one in her mouth, what fraction of dicks will remain in her hands? If Klarisa Leone has two hands, an ass, and a pussy, her mouth is occupied with cock, and a second cock will go somewhere else, what is the probability that she will be spitroasted?

Don't worry, you guys; this will be much easier to figure out now than it was when you were learning this stuff the first time. You're older, wiser, and you're dealing with real world issues that concern you on a day to day basis, like double penetration, and lubricant, and facials.

Here's Andy Brown. She likes it in the ass. However, she doesn't feel like having something deep in her ass, she only wants to feel herself stretched out, so she finds a guy whose length isn't as impressive as his girth. Now is a good time to remind all of our readers that it takes penises of all sizes to make the world go round (and vaginas, too, but that's another discussion). Anyway, here's your word problem. David Perry's cock is twice as long as Nick Lang's, but only half of it fits in Andy's mouth, while Nick's member goes all the way inside Andy's ass. If Andy is being spitroasted, what fraction of the total available cock (TAC) is not being utilized?

In Blanche's perfect world, David Perry would stay in her pussy forever, holding her legs to his chest, pounding her through orgasm after breath-stealing orgasm, but today she's decided to get Mugur in her backdoor while Perry does his thing, and this will take a lot of lubricant. Let's say she uses four ounces of lube every time she gets doubly penetrated, she wants to switch between cocks every five minutes (to test David's girth against Mugur's impressive turgidity), and she only has fourteen ounces of lube left in the bottle. How long until she's unable to be fucked by both men at once? What fraction of lube will be left over? Extra credit question: which man will be sent out to buy more lubricant?

Klarisa Leone is one of those girls who gets off on taste more than anything else, and in order to amplify her tasting powers, she's donning a blindfold. As an extra thrill, she's walking into the boy's bathroom and letting whoever comes in have their way with her. Guys come in, two at a time, and one jams his dick in her mouth, letting her soak up his flavors, while the other works with her tight yet inviting asshole, and each duo gets about ten minutes to fool around before their time is up. If there are thirty guys in the bar waiting to get a piece of Klarisa, and closing time is in an hour, what fraction of gentlemen will handle her unholiest of holes before the bouncer gets pissed and throws them all out?

Trick question: the bouncer is waiting in line, too.

Are you finished with the problems? Did you show you work on the page? That's cool, but our copy of "2 Dicks in 1 Girl" didn't come with the answers. Oh well! Next time: New Sensations teaches us about binary code (because genitals look like a bunch of ones and zeroes)!

· New Sensations (newsensations.com)
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