Some have said that the legend of the mermaid arose when sex starved sailors mistook sunbathing manatees for gorgeous maidens of the sea. But we know the truth of the matter: what those sailors really saw was a time traveling Nicki Minaj, head ablaze with a halo bright green hair and a body so ass kicking it completely distracted them from the fact that she's just a human lady with legs, and not a fantastic sea goddess.
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