The Pleasure of the Pain

Like most animals, I am averse to pain. I never sought it as part of my sex life, and I would argue that most of the rough play we enjoy falls far short of true pain. A spank on the ass or pussy stings, but we aren't into the sadism and masochism aspects of pain play. We just like the extra stimulation that comes with a well-timed smack designed to inflame and arouse rather than actually hurt.

However, what I have come to enjoy with nipple play is what some would more likely consider nipple torture. For ages attention to my nipples did very little for me. I enjoyed feeling them become erect, but beyond that there wasn't really much going on. And then one day D nibbled a little harder than usual and it was like fireworks went off in my tits and my cunt.

Since that day a few months ago we've really played with the limits of how much "pain" or "torture" my nipples can take before we fall over the edge and a safeword gets shouted or a hand gets smacked away. As with most sexual response, my threshold is much lower when we start than it is after arousal and endorphins and dopamine create that heady cocktail. But once that's all in play, what I can handle increases substantially.

I love a hard, twisting nipple pinch. Or a bite that feels as though it's going to go all the way through. At first D couldn't believe what I was able and willing (and wanted) to take. I had to convince him that he wasn't hurting me, and let him know when it went too far.

What does it do to me? For me? It focuses concentration. It pulls all the myriad sensations to one place for a moment. It makes my cunt gush. It sometimes pushes me over the edge to orgasm. Sometimes we take it too far, but it's hard to know in the moment. Too far for me means that hours later, or the next day, my nipples feel bruised or my breasts ache. It's not the worst feeling, but it's not fantastic, either. But it's a reminder of what we've done and the limits we'll go to please each other and get off.

I only recently purchased nipple clamps, and haven't used them as much as I would like. They are wonderful and horrible. Given the choice I would always rather have fingers or teeth inflicting the pleasure, but the clamps have their place. They are tricky. And they are persistent. A person cannot maintain the constant pressure of clamp over a sustained period of time unless he wants carpal tunnel or TMJ. I forget that sometimes, and the clamps overstay their welcome.

Pussy spanking is another activity I was shocked to find I enjoy. I remember reading a blog in which the guy spanked his partner many times and hard every time they played. I also remember being appalled that anyone could want that kind of treatment. And this is a perfect example of why you can't judge something until you've tried it.

The first time D spanked my pussy I was tied up on the bed. I wasn't blindfolded, so I could see what was coming. That first smack came down on my lips and stung but didn't linger. My cunt was more open for the next one, and all the ones that followed. D must have smacked me ten or a dozen time in quick succession. He got me quickly, but not hard. I could squirm, but I couldn't close my legs. The action stimulated my clit and brought on a juicy orgasm. Despite my shock, since it didn't really hurt I didn't use our safeword. So glad I didn't, because now we know!

There are people who enjoy, or perhaps endure, much more pain to get to the pleasure they seek. It's clear there's a fine line, and you have to trust your partner in order to find it. If you have that trust, if you have real intimacy as well, then I think it's much easier to have the confidence and willing spirit to give it a try.

Do you enjoy activities like this as part of your sex life? And does your partner(s) share your interest? If he or she doesn't, how do you negotiate?

Republished with permission from Always Each Other. Want to see your true tale of lust on Fleshbot? Contact us. Photo by John B. Root.