Porn For Straight Girls: Forever Thankful For Sexy Nurses

[jwplayer id="7185713"]

I would just like to state, right away, that if you burn yourself to a crisp deep-frying your turkey on Thanksgiving, your nurses will probably not be as hot as the ones in "Big Breast Nurses 5." So don't go getting any ideas from this.

"Big Breast Nurses 5" is a release from Reality Junkies, and features a fantastic cast: the always exciting Asa Akira, sultry Jessica Jaymes, Rocco Reed, Jack Lawrence, and an adorably hypochondriacal Bill Bailey. The girls are enthusiastic and the men are attractive, and I'm in the midst of making three pies and I bought liquor at nine o'clock this morning to stock up for Thanksgiving, so I'm thinking in sort of Neanderthal language right now. Bear with me.

These nurses have to deal with some difficult patients. Asa Akira decides to help Rocco Reed reconstruct the car accident he suffered and has now developed amnesia around by recreating the events leading up to the wreck: namely, the date he was on. This leads to anal sex, which I am always down for but really don't understand how that could have happened in a car. It quickly becomes clear that Rocco is using this "therapy" to his own ends when he asks Asa to help him recreate the sponge bath his date gave him. She looks appropriately skeptical.

Bill Bailey is insistent that he's ill, even though he's been in the hospital for weeks and nothing has turned up in his test results. His insurance won't cover his stay any longer, and Brandy Talore is charged with the task of convincing him to leave the hospital. Bill makes an admirable effort to resist her, but her breasts are really, really, really big. Like, whoa. I think Bill Bailey is so hot. And he always makes me think of Beetle Bailey, which is odd but fun. Evan Stone makes an appearance as a man who can't urinate, so Loni Evans concludes that the only way to solve his penis blockage is to have sex. The funniest part of this scene is that Evan Stone seems confused about how this is going to help him, and keeps saying so.

The patients aren't the only difficult part of this job, apparently. Jessica Jaymes realizes that she's getting the worst shifts and confronts Dr. Jack Lawrence about it. She accuses him of fucking the other nurses and giving them preferential treatment, and when his immediate denials fail to convince her, Jack's internal voice says, "Tell her you're gay!" And he does. Unfortunately, Jessica isn't fooled. And really, who would be? This is Jack Lawrence, clearly straight, and even if he was gay, I might side with her and try to prove him wrong too. His farce doesn't survive past the first few moments, and soon he's going down on Jessica with gusto. The twist ending has Jack asking Jessica not to tell anyone that he's gay. "What?" she says. Yeah, I didn't get that either.

The "sexy nurse" thing is a such a porn standard, it was a lot of fun to watch this indulge in clichés without worrying. The performers looked like they were having a good time, and even though it wasn't an original script, I did laugh a lot during the dialogue. This particular "Big Breast Nurses" isn't available through our store, but the rest of them are, and based on this, I'd guess that they're probably equally entertaining.

· Buy the "Big Breast Nurses" Series (store.fleshbot.com)
· Or visit Reality Junkies (realityjunkies.com)

Previously: Porn For Straight Girls Archive