Porn For Straight Girls: Disco Porn Fever

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It doesn't matter how good of a parody "Saturday Night Fever XXX" was; the music was always going to be cringe-worthy. As a devoted BeeGees fan, I can't in good conscience tell you that the soundtrack was acceptable. However, the sex? More than acceptable, luckily.

I haven't seen the actual "Saturday Night Fever" in many, many years. I don't know if I've ever even seen the entire movie, or if I've just seen clips here and there. But I remember enough to tell you that much of the dialogue in this is lifted directly from the original, and the actors' Brooklyn accents are passable (when they bother to try accents, that is.) Actually, I've decided I'm being too critical right now. This was a really good parody. They followed the plot, were fairly faithful to the characters both in appearance and personality, the music was an honestly good stab at disco, and not as horribly cheesy as that Elvis parody I reviewed. Plus, the production values were high and the idea of making "Saturday Night Fever XXX" was a good one, because that movie was pretty sex-fueled to begin with.

Seth Gamble was a good choice to impersonate Travolta, with that combination of swagger and insecurity. There were pretty elaborate and extensive dance scenes and I was impressed with how well everyone did; there wasn't the same energy level as the original film, but no one was obviously missing all the steps or anything. Anyway, Kristina Rose is the unfortunately desperate Annette, and there's a long blowjob scene which has her masturbating while sucking Tony's dick. I don't think I've seen a blowjob-only scene, ever. I kind of enjoyed that level of commitment to the story, but the scene itself wasn't that exciting. His scene with Allie Haze/Stephanie was kind of tacked on at the end too; it was odd that Seth's sex scenes were given such short shrift, since he was the protagonist. The scene with Allie was good, but very short.

Next up, Xander Corvus plays the ill-fated Bobby, with Lexi Belle as his girlfriend Pauline. Lexi Belle has a feather hair extension, y'all. Pretty sure that didn't exist in the Seventies. But she's hot, so we'll let it slide. Plus, I was excited to see these two performers together, as I love them and find them both wildly attractive. They didn't disappoint, either. Lexi is always fun to watch, and Xander was a good counterpart to her teenage sweetheart routine. I would have liked to have a bit more character development around the sex, since they just exchanged a few lines about birth control and then dove right in, but sacrifices have to be made, I guess. (The part where Bobby dies is horribly acted, though. As you might expect, porn doesn't handle death well at all.)

Tony's brother Frank, the former priest played by Alec Knight, has a great "in character" scene, where Brandy Aniston's disco queen approaches him at the club, wanting to know if he moves like his brother. She doesn't mean dancing. Alec does the whole stuttering, awkward, just-got-out-of-the-church thing really well, up until he goes down on Brandy. Priests aren't that skilled with oral sex. I find Brandy a little irritating to watch, but what seems to be her normal performance approach worked well for her character. Alec continued to be hesitant and priestly pretty much all the way through, which was fun.

This was a great parody, and if you like plot-based porn, this would be a good one for you. And if you love "Saturday Night Fever," I think you could watch this without being completely horrified.The plot is strongest at first, and gets jammed up at the end, but at least they went all the way through the highlights, although they did take the attempted rape part out. All the performers look like they're having a lot of fun with the dancing and the Brooklyn accents. It wasn't tongue-in-cheek like a lot of parody porn is, but the sex was pretty hot, so I didn't miss the irony as much as I thought I would.

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