What Makes These “Euro Sluts” So “Naughty”?

September 20, 2011
GRAM-PONANTE

One odd thing about watching most Europorn is that it is rife with single names like "Ludovica," "Hedda," and "Denicka," whereas American porn exports both the Christian and family names of our precious resources. But aren't all sluts naughty?

For example, a woman named Raingarda (seriously? Raingarda? Isn't that an umbrella?) enters a room with what appears to be an empty carafe and absently rubs it on the crotch of a seated man and then, after two seconds, rubs it on her stomach. She sure looks slutty-and I'm grateful-but is she naughty?

Then they have sex and she drips his come into the carafe.

Well, maybe that's naughty. Or gross. Does "naughty" equal "gross" in Europe? Ask Jerry Lewis.

Then a man fucks Denicka on an awful couch, after which she rubs his seed onto her breasts. That's not naughty. That's just good hygiene. Does "naughty" equal "poor hygiene" in Europe?

Adrenilda is fed a green vibrator-let's call it "Greenis"-by a man who then fucks her poolside, after which they swim in the same pool they just fucked in. I don't see a problem with that. Aren't they married? Isn't it their pool? Does "naughty" equal "rich guilt" in Europe?

You know, I went to Liechtenstein and Andorra on my junior year abroad, so maybe I didn't get the full European experience. But when Ludovica pleasures herself with what appears to be the same vibrator Adrenilda just used, it was then that I realized that there was a chance those naughty Euro sluts didn't wipe.

· Third World Media (thirdworldxxx.com)
· Buy "Naughty Euro Sluts 2" (tlavideo.com)