Chocolate Dick Hats: A Hands-On

If you're like us (and you are, aren't you?), you've spent the last few weeks wondering whether Chocolate Dick Hats were legitimate sexual enhancement products or just a useless (but tasty!) novelty item destined to wind up giggled over but unused in bachelorette party grab bags the world over. Fortunately, we managed to get our hands on a few samples and answer this important question once and for all so we can all get back to wondering about ... uh, other stuff. So what did our crack consumer testing team find out?

· Chocolate Dick Hats are big. Really, really big. Unless your cock is as big as a baby's arm, these are going to be more like dick boats and than dick hats.

· Dick hats are not sexy. Penises weren't meant to wear cowboy hats. Or Viking hats. Especially not ones that bob and sway in the breeze.

· Blowjobs are better when they taste like fancy chocolate. The sheer size of these things makes them a little difficult to eat, but as they melt in your mouth (or on your cock), they become a lot more fun.

Despite our initial reservations, by the end of the experiment we were on board with the dick hats. Sure, you could probably achieve the same effect with a bottle of Hershey's syrup, but that can get really messy ... and somehow, it's just not as much fun.

· Chocolate Party Hats (chocolatepartyhats.com)