Oh Lord, Lars Von Trier Is Making A Porn Flick

The Danish director said he's been thinking of doing something like this for a while. He made a comment at Cannes about wanting to make a movie with "very, very unpleasant sex," because, you know, it's not like "Antichrist" or "Breaking the Waves" have unpleasant sex in them.

Von Trier announced his intentions to make a movie called "Nymphomaniac" back in May, and now it seems that the movie is coming together, with Lars taking lots of time and joy in research for the film and Kristen Dunst taking the lead female role (even though we had hoped for Tori Black's semi-crossover debut). The movie will have hardcore and softcore versions to satisfy censors, but beyond vague discussions of penetration and sexually depicting minors, it's hard to say what Von Trier has in store for our fragile minds.

Can it really be that different from his other work? Where does Von Trier draw the line between pornography and everything else? (We struggle to say where we draw the line, but that's another post.) We've heard that it's going to be hours of hardcore sex with no dialogue, but that probably leaves out a lot of the atmosphere and gloom that Von Trier brings to the table. Also, it doesn't sound anything like "Constance," "Pink Prison," or "All About Anna," the three award-winning "mainstream porn films" that Von Trier's production company, Zentropa, made between 1998 and 2005.

So what do you think this will look like? All we know is that it's about a woman's life and sexuality from birth to middle age, there will be very unpleasant sex, and it will have "a lot of different diversions and strange ideas and little parts that have nothing to do with the storyline." Will this be like "Caligula," with random Guccione-esque inserts of gratuitous sex and ejaculation?

More likely, it may come off as something like "Ken Park," the 2002 film that came under a ton of fire for having adult actors play minors and have a ton of sex. Von Trier already expressed half-hearted concern over issues like this, noting, "And I also have a problem with the sex that we all know is part of our lives before we are 18 years old. Let's see how I handle this. I don't intend to break any laws but it will be an interesting experience."

Perhaps the best view of "Nymphomaniac" can be gained from watching some of the films in the "Destricted" collection, a series of short porn flicks directed by big art brains like Larry Clark, Marina Abramovic, and Matthew Barney.

To be honest, if you want to see Lars Von Trier's idea of porn, we recommend watching anything by Marc Blackie. This flick here is a good start, mostly because we already made a Lars Von Trier joke about it.

· Controversial Director Lars Von Trier Plans Porn Film (xbiz.com)
· Pic from "All About Anna" (2005) (imdb.com)