Porn For Straight Girls: Not That Part Of Him

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I've never been a fan of New Sensations' "Romance" series, billed as porn for couples, but because Bobbi Starr is so awesome, I gave it another try. I'm glad I did! Even if the premise of "A Little Part Of Me" is slightly Frankenstein-y.

Let's back up. The first time I watched a New Sensations Romance movie was also the first time I watched Tori Black fuck, in "Eternal Love." It was boring as shit. I mean, Tori was great and all, but the storyline was weird and melodramatic and everyone seemed really uncomfortable. So when I got this DVD, my first thought was, "Oh gosh, not another one of these." But I was intrigued by two things: Bobbi Starr, and the fact that the plot of the film is that she's tracking down men who received organs donated by her dead husband.

Oh, you read that correctly. You might be asking, "How the fuck could that happen? That's confidential information!" Yeah, they sort of gloss over that issue by making Dead Husband's best friend an irresponsible doctor/post-mortem butcher with a soft spot for teary Bobbi. (There are character names in this, by the way, but it makes everything really confusing so I'm just going to refer to the performers by their actual [read: porn] names.) Anyway, as the story goes, Bobbi's husband dies. She has sexy dreams about him that result in serious depression when she wakes up alone. Bobbi's flower shop co-workers decide they need to help her move on, since her husband died a year ago. As Kimberly Kane expresses, "She's missing out on so many beautiful things in life because of her grief goggles!" Whoa. I'll be using that expression every five minutes now, FYI. They suggest she track down the guys who received Dead Husband's organs, she manipulates the info out of his doctor/friend, and gets to emailing.

First there's Danny Mountain, who received Dead Husband's eyes. I'm not making this shit up, in case you're thinking that. Danny emails Bobbi back immediately (like five seconds later), which to me screams, "I'm a serial killer!" but to Bobbi says, "Let's meet in a park!" Don't worry, the resulting conversation is just as asinine as you would imagine. Plus, Danny's enthusiasm about being able to see makes him act like a teenage boy on psychedelic drugs. The two literally (yup) bump into Kimberly Kane, and then shortly Kimberly and Danny are off to have sex.

Sex! Finally! I just realized that this plot is crazy-complicated and I need to speed through it to get to the sex. Danny and Kimberly are super hot together. The lighting and sets are really good in this scene, and the way their bodies are shot is just beautiful. All that bothered me was the New Age-y music, but Kimberly's character is actually very New Age-y so it works. She touches herself a lot, and talks about coming, so I was convinced that she was enjoying herself. And Danny is hot. (Funny moment: Kimberly says, "I want to feel every inch of you," and when Danny thrusts in a little too suddenly she shouts, "Oh my god, I don't!" I like a girl who communicates honestly.)

Next up, the recipient of Dead Husband's lung, is fitness-obsessed Michael Vegas, who Bobbi instantly realizes is a perfect fit for her equally fitness-obsessed friend Zoe Voss. They're so cute! Michael is adorable. I just realized recently I have a thing for blond men. He takes his time with Zoe, which is nice; it doesn't feel like the foreplay is just a show. (Side note: condom usage! I can take it or leave it in terms of industry regulations, but it's nice to see here since these couples are basically fucking on the first date.)

Rocco Reed in Harry Potter glasses! He's such a sweetheart. He also has Dead Husband's heart. Now, if I were making this movie, I would go for that on-the-nose connection and have Bobbi end up with him. Rocco even tries to go there, but Bobbi isn't really into him. However, she sets the enthusiastic and sensitive Rocco up with her overly romantic friend Allie Haze, who wear sexy-librarian glasses of her own. Allie acts sort of like Laura Palmer's cousin Maddie from "Twin Peaks," all lip-biting and kitten voice. Luckily the romantics don't stop themselves from having sex immediately. It's not quite as fun as the first two scenes, but then I'm not much for romance. Rocco is always hot, regardless.

After a mushy (and honestly, irritating) wrap up where all the girls agree they're fabulously happy and BFFs, Bobbi goes home to find a (poorly written, sorry) letter from Mark Davis, a.k.a. Dead Husband's doctor/best friend, confessing his love for her. Bobbi goes to see Mark, and he makes the requisite "penis donation" joke, which thankfully is just a joke. They have a dinner date at home, and Bobbi finally gets laid! I like that Mark was very focused on getting her off with fingers and tongue before having sex with her (multiple times, based on her noises), but I find him kind of odd. Like, his sex energy doesn't work for me or something. Bobbi is so gorgeous and intense, though, that the scene was still worth it. (I feel like a porn snob right now. Also an everything snob.)

So there was a very involved plot that was a little too sentimental, but there was super hot sex to make up for that. And everyone seemed actually excited to be in this movie, and into the sex they were having. I still don't like the music, but I can forgive it this time. New Sensations Romance, you've won me over. Despite the creepiness of this film's premise.

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Previously: Porn For Straight Girls Archive