“This Ain’t Ghostbusters XXX” Is Packing More Than Just Protons

For one, it's packing some of the best 3D imagery that I've seen in porn. Oh, and it also came with a free trading card! I got Alexis Texas as the Ghost Librarian! Her turn on: "riding her Sybian and reading historical nonfiction at the same time."

This Ain't Ghostbusters XXX

Studio: Hustler
Director: Axel Braun
Cast: Raven Alexis, Alexis Texas, Sarah Shevon, Lily LaBeau, Jennifer Dark, Joselyn James, Evan Stone, Tee Reel, Alec Knight, Jeremy Conway, James Deen

When I first picked up "This Ain't Ghostbusters XXX," I was pretty apprehensive. The last Hustler 3D parody porn that I watched was "This Ain't Avatar XXX" and the 3D made it practically unwatchable. However, not only was I blown away by the imagery in "Ghostbusters XXX," I felt that Axel Braun really captured the spirit of the beloved 1984 film.

Actually, I think it was Evan Stone who captured 1984's Bill Murray. Evan, as Dr. Peter Venkman, starts off testing Lily LaBeau's psychic abilities with some cards, but soon he has her bent over his desk with her panties pulled to the side. It literally takes twenty minutes of sweating, spanking, hair-pulling, and desk-creaking ruthless fucking before they even get naked, and when they do, buttons fly everywhere.

At one point, Evan cockslaps Lily in her jaw, and I had to pause for a moment and reflect. This kind of behavior is normal for porn, yet there was something unusual about the way in which Evan was bashing his boner against Lily's face. Then I realized this is exactly how Bill Murray would cockslap a woman: gleefully. Evan also stores a sample of Lily's come in a petri dish.

Raven Alexis makes a marvelous Dana Barrett, and we all feel that she should rock Sigourney Weaver's curly retro locks as often as possible. She looks equally lovely when possessed by Zuul, but she unfortunately does not fuck like Zuul. Does she orgasm like Zuul? I'm going to say yes based on the fact that Raven's orgasms are frequent, violent, and bring the wrath of Gozer the Gozerian.

Gozer, briefly played by Jennifer Dark, commands the Ain't Ghostbusters to choose their destroyer, at which point Alec Knight accidentally thinks of his mom (Joselyn James). She demands to be fucked by a thirteen-inch cock and Tee Reel is the only man for the job. It's a funny twist on the actual ending, but I don't see why they couldn't have tied the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in. It's more cushion for the pushin'!

Tee Reel's dick slinging is always superb, but we wish he had played a bigger part in the movie overall. Winston Zeddemore had some of the sharpest one-liners in "Ghostbusters," and having Tee show up in the parody at the last possible moment seems like a waste of great material. At the very least, the other gentleman acknowledge Tee's sudden appearance with a self-deprecating chuckle.

In general, "This Ain't Ghostbusters XXX" runs out of steam over two hours. The first scenes of the film draw from the dialogue and details of the source, making them the strongest and funniest in the whole parody. But by the time Dana runs into the nerdy Louis, things fall apart (with apologies to Chinua Achebe); the pace speeds up uncomfortably and segues between sex scenes become quite clumsy.

For example, I was dying to see how Janine Melnitz (the hot secretary, pornified by Sarah Shevon) gets fucked in this parody, more so than any other character! When Evan finishes boning Zuul, a phone call to Egon (James Deen) allows us to cut to Ghostbusters HQ where Janine and Louis are hanging out. Louis says something about Gozer, Janine makes it into an innuendo, and then everybody is fucking. Yes, it was lovely watching her get spit roasted as saliva dangled next to the chain on her enormous glasses, but did Egon and Louis earn that roast? Also, I should add that while Rick Moranis played Louis as a geeky, earnest, and lovable goofball, Jeremy Conway plays Louis as more of a pervert with no social filters.

But hey, porn isn't perfect! You simply can't please everyone's preferences in parody porn, but I have to admit that Axel Braun did a damn good job of making sure my pet peeves were put down. The special effects are both flashy and appropriate, the acting captures the spirit of the original film, and most importantly, the sex is solid. The only thing this movie is missing is a Fleshlight tie-in.

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Alexis Texas and Alec Knight
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Evan Stone, Alec Knight, and James Deen
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Jennifer Dark
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Joselyn James and Tee Reel
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Lily LaBeau and Evan Stone
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Sarah Shevon, Raven Alexis, and Evan Stone
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Lily LaBeau and Evan Stone
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Sarah Shevon, James Deen, and Jeremy Conway
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