“Millionaire Matchmaker XXX” Snatch Me A Snatch

No, it's not our favorite song from "Diddler On the Roof," it's a parody of Bravo's hit show about a dating club for rich dudes. Long story short, India Summer plays Patti and she is way hotter than the original.

Ashlynn Brooke is back in the director's seat for another Hardcore Parody production. This time she's sticking it to the rich and needy for their crimes against television. Oh, who are we kidding? We watch and enjoy "Millionaire Matchmaker." There, we said it!

But we have to reiterate that we are so very attracted to India Summer it is almost painful to think about. If she were the CEO of the Millionaire's Club, we'd go get jobs as investment bankers just so we could afford her services and get to bask in her strict, MILFy beauty. We're getting sidetracked.

Dane Cross plays a young internet tycoon who's richer than Croesus but completely clueless with the ladies. Lucky for Dane, Patti has a few willing young women saved up for hopeless cases like him. First, there's squirting sensation Sindee Jennings! Now, Patti has a very serious "No sex on the first date" policy, but that doesn't seem to discourage Sindee from stretching her tight little mouth around Dane's great dong. They seem to really like each other—and Sindee looks gorgeous bucking around on top of Dane—but something goes wrong. Maybe it's the fact that Dane never takes off his glasses, plaid shirt, or vest. Who wears vests these days, anyway?

Dane seems much more comfortable—and naked—with Jaelyn Fox. They don't even bother setting up a date; Dane just rolls up on her office, grabs her boobs, and spoons her hard on the desk. It's love at first sight, but is Jaelyn even available? It looks like she's already been fucked in that same exact spot by Patti! And some guy! This makes us wonder if the real Patti Stanger ever uses her position to prey on especially attractive clients.

Maybe Ashlynn Brooke knows something we don't know? Not only does India-Patti share a cock with Jaelyn, she also takes Brooke Banner's big boobs all for herself, wrapping her long legs around Brooke's blonde head and never letting go. Patti might not be a millionaire herself (or is she? We're not sure, actually), but at least she can lick the clits of the rich and powerful.

And in the end, isn't that the appeal of the Bravo show? That we might feel closer to wealth by seeing how wak their dating skills are? It looks like Ashlynn hit the nail on the head with "Millionaire Matchmaker."

· Hardcore Parody (hardcoreparody.com)
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India Summer and Brooke Banner
Hardcore Parody (hardcoreparody.com)
Buy "Millionaire Matchmaker XXX" (adultdvdempire.com)
India Summer and Brooke Banner
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Buy "Millionaire Matchmaker XXX" (adultdvdempire.com)
India Summer and Brooke Banner
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Buy "Millionaire Matchmaker XXX" (adultdvdempire.com)
India Summer and Brooke Banner
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India Summer and Brooke Banner
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India Summer and Brooke Banner
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Buy "Millionaire Matchmaker XXX" (adultdvdempire.com)
India Summer and Jaelyn Fox
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Buy "Millionaire Matchmaker XXX" (adultdvdempire.com)
India Summer and Jaelyn Fox
Hardcore Parody (hardcoreparody.com)
Buy "Millionaire Matchmaker XXX" (adultdvdempire.com)
India Summer and Jaelyn Fox
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Buy "Millionaire Matchmaker XXX" (adultdvdempire.com)
India Summer and Jaelyn Fox
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Jaelyn Fox
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Jaelyn Fox
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Jaelyn Fox
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Jaelyn Fox
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Jaelyn Fox
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Jaelyn Fox
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Sindee Jennings
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Sindee Jennings
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Sindee Jennings
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Sindee Jennings
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Sindee Jennings
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Sindee Jennings
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Tanya Tate
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Tanya Tate
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Tanya Tate
Hardcore Parody (hardcoreparody.com)
Buy "Millionaire Matchmaker XXX" (adultdvdempire.com)