The Problem With Making A XXX “Rocky Horror”

In a world where shows like "Two and a Half Men" have been deemed appropriate for porn parodying, it's refreshing to see something actually sexy get selected for pornification. And disappointing to know it probably won't be done properly.

Oh, Wicked's "The Rocki Whore Picture Show" will likely be sexy, and probably well done—and it may even have a good dose of "Rocky Horror" flavor. As a sponsor of the official Rocky Horror Picture Show 35th Anniversary Convention, Wicked Pictures is certainly tapped in to the "Rocky" community. But I just can't shake the feeling that what they'll turn out will be a bowdlerized version of the phenomenon that I love.

Let's just cut to the chase on this one: "Rocky Horror" is a pansexual fantasia centered around the wild sex life of a bisexual transvestite from transsexual Transylvania. Has the problem become clear to you yet? You can't have a "Rocky Horror" that doesn't include a healthy dose of deviance, cross dressing, and man on man action. And in the oddly conservative world of "straight" pornography, that last one is still seen as incredibly taboo.

But if Brad doesn't have sex with Frank N. Furter, is it still "Rocky Horror"? If our sweet transvestite hero is a neutered creature who flirts and prances but doesn't actually have a sex scene—or, even worse, is a more socially acceptable female bisexual who fucks everything that walks—are we still saluting the perverted film phenomenon we all know and love?

No, we're not. And it's sad to see that Porn Valley—an industry for "misfits" and "freaks" if there ever was one—can't bring itself to fully embrace all sides of the perverted coin. Because I can see a phenomenal hardcore "Rocky Horror"—one with Buck Angel as Rocky, April Flores as Magenta, and Wolf Hudson—or hell, Kimber James—as Frank N. Furter. But I have a hard time imagining that my vision and Wicked's are going to have much overlap. But who knows: maybe someone with a similar sensibility to mine will come along to fund a parallel project—the "BatFxxx" to this "Batman XXX," if you will—and do "Rocky Horror" right.

I certainly have my fingers crossed.

· The Rocki Whore Picture Show (wickedpictures.com)