A Five-Star Rating For “Asseaters Unanimous 21” On Yelp!

June 24, 2010
OTTIMO-MASSIMO

It's the story of three boys—Mark Zane, Christian XXX, and Tom Byron—beset on all sides by women who only want to eat their asses. How will our heroes defend themselves? The only delicious way they can…

Ass Eaters Unanimous 21

Studio: Tom Byron Films
Director: Tom Byron
Cast: Bobbi Starr, Kristina Rose, Dana DeArmond, Sindee Jennings, Gracie Glam, Bridgette B., Brandy Aniston, Samantha Sin, Tom Byron, Christian XXX, Mark Zane

What, you don't like ass eating? Well we took a vote and clearly you weren't there.

The young Mark Zane could only handle two of the anilingus angels: Brandy Aniston and Samantha Sin. Now, Brandy Aniston isn't the most phenomenal foe. Though she spends ample time giving love to his taint (that is, perineum) and biting his furry ass, she doesn't seem like she enjoys it. Nor does Brandy enjoy the way Mark prods his tongue about her butt. Tom Byron films should be—and usually are—about having a damn good time; what would have made Brandy happy?

Mark had a much easier time with Samantha Sin, who approaches ass eating with a mix of humor and heart. She tells a story about tossing another director's salad, actually dressing his butthole with ranch dressing and bacon bits. Without missing a beat, Samantha and Mark start 69ing, spanking each other, and bursting on each other's faces.

Though Mark could only handle two dames, Christian XXX easily takes three: Gracie Glam, Bridgette B., and Bobbi Starr. Christian has a voice (and a body) like Andre the Giant, and watching three semi-scrawny she-devils jackhammer him with their tiny tongues is just plain ol' fun. Gracie Glam even makes him jizz on his own face! Bobbi Starr bends him over the couch and punishes him like he put a dirty plate in the clean dishwasher! Sure, he gets to stab Bobbi's Starrfish (their joke, not mine), but he certainly plays the succumbs to the whims of all his ladies.

But even though he doesn't get Bobbi Starr, Tom "The Ass Eating Addict" Byron gets to plunge his slippery tongue into Sindee Jennings, Kristina Rose, and Dana DeArmond. Can he remain dominant when his comrades have all fallen? Well, no. Why would he? If Sindee Jennings were dragging her lips from your balls to butt and back again, wouldn't you lie there and take it?

Or if Kristina Rose were lying on the bed, demanding that you sit on her face and bounce your balls against her chin, wouldn't you squat as commanded?

And if Dana DeArmond started licking her lips, looking at you with a fever that said, "I'm gonna use my cheeks for this next one and vacuum seal your asshole like I'm planning to take it to space," you wouldn't waste a moment throwing your heels behind your ears. That's what Tom Byron did.

Some folks might not enjoy the fact that there's no intercourse in "Ass Eaters Unanimous 21," but that's just something you have to deal with. By cutting out all that nonsense, they fit eight scenes on one DVD and allowed time for some truly perfected anilingus and blowjobs.

If you really need some penetration with your ass eating, try videos 18 or 19 in the series. If you're a true ass eater (and you better come real with it) you'll be down to ride on these A-1 anuses, watch "Ass Eaters Unanimous 21," and go tongue-first 24/7 ya feel me?

· Buy "Ass Eaters Unanimous 21" (tlavideo.com)