“Santa’s Revenge”: Find Out Who’s Naughty, Then Fuck Them

One adjective I'd never use to describe Santa is "vindictive," but that is what this title would have you believe. You should never trust porn titles. A better name would have been "Santa Is Drunk."

Santa's Revenge

Studio: Loaded Digital
Director: various
Cast: Jenny Hendrix, Evan Stone, Kelly Erikson, Melissa Lauren, Aria, Randi Wright, Annie Cruz, Jenny Lee McKenzie, Jamie Lee, Brian Surewood, Lee Stone, Ron Jeremy, Guy DiSilva, JJ Michaels, Dave Hardman, Earl Slate, Dave Dodge, Paul Coxxx

Review by: Gram Ponante

Santa (Evan Stone) lies passed-out on a couch, still clutching an empty bottle of Ripple. Porning mantis Jenny Hendrix, playing an elf, approaches.

"Put it in there, Santa," says Hendrix.

This is the one original entry in a collection that includes two scenes with Ron Jeremy as Santa (one, from 1997's "Gang Bang Under the Mistletoe," also has St. Nick as a drunk and looks, with hairstyles and eyewear choices, like it was made even earlier), and another scene with Brian Surewood as an elf. It was Surewood's name in the credits that sent up a warning flag, in that he's been in jail for more than a year.

So then we must ask, "Is Santa's Revenge everything the porn world feels the need to say about Santa?" That he is not only a connoisseur of Fine Ladies but also a drunk? And how does coming on a willing partner's face, chest, and neck constitute revenge?

I am not a fan of compilations (I feel it messes with the sacrosanct porn narrative), but I did enjoy a dialogue scene between Jeremy and Surewood, in which Jeremy, a propos of nothing - which is Ron Jeremy's M.O. - says, "Remember we went to Venice Beach to get our palms read, and she said we'd jerked away our lifelines?"

So if you want a ten-year retrospective of what the porn world thinks when it thinks "Santa" and, by extension, what it thinks of you by marketing a compilation as an original movie, by all means buy this film. You can also see porn stars no one has ever heard from again fucking by ancient computers, which I'm sure is a niche in itself, somewhere.

· Loaded Digital (loadeddigital.com)
· Buy "Santa's Revenge" (xonair.com)