“Blondstravaganza” Beats The Hell Out Of Coal

Digital Sin dropped your xmas present off to us early—so naturally, we opened it. Ha! What's that? Why yes, as a matter of fact it is a heaping handful of naughty blond street meat.

How'd ya guess? No. It's not a new release, though. Sorry. You know you've been bad. For chrissakes, look where he dropped it off,

Indie rocker Ani DiFranco once sang that for the fish in the bowl the castle is a surprise every time. These days, a lot of studios remind us of the lyric. Comp after endless comp, we're left swimming in shallow and totally forgettable garbage rehashed from yesteryear—like a bad case of deja vu, or herpes. So if something catches our attention from this bottom feeding genre, you know it's gotta be special. "Blondstravaganza" may be just that, maybe. We're not sure. But at least we're sure it doesn't suck.

Bleach bottle blondes blow big boned bastards before banging bouncing booties beyond belief, boy. Betcha didn't know Santa's got the sweet tooth for mixing alliteration with his kink, didja? Act like you know.

What more can we say? Enjoy some sweet strange, even if only in your mind. It's been a crazy year. You've earned it. After all, fantasizing about popping sweet blond cooch is what the holidays are all about (oh, and family, and presents—but mostly new hot young juicy piping hot snatch howling in ecstasy while getting hammered). Happy Holidays!

· Digital Sin (newsensations.com)