Marital Aid Test Kitchen: Ass Rod Anal Training Kit

When this collection of anus wideners arrived here at Fleshbot West, we didn't know whether to stick them up our collectives asses or mount our stage production of "2001: An Anal Odyssey of Ass."

The smallest of these monolithic and semi-hard "ass rods" (which also happens to be what we call L.A.'s Parking Enforcement personnel) is 5.5" long and 2.5" around. The folks at Rascal are not messing around. That the largest of the three is almost twice that size scared the shit out of us (good thing, too, because we needed the room).

The SensaFirm material is spongy, turgid, and heavy, yielding just enough to provide both entrant and penetrated a real sense of accomplishment, probably like John Holmes did in his flaccid years.

Because there were no instructions provided with the items, we wondered what the recommended time frame of graduation from the smallest rod to the 9.5" x 4.75" brickbat was. Until Christmas? The year 2525? We have already petitioned our Member of Congress to declare that day Gaping Day.

The rods are waterproof (though that should be the least of your worries) and would also make excellent upgrades for the foam bats at your next couples' counseling session.

As this video will make clear, my bid to become the Ass Rod spokesmodel was rejected.

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