Still Horny After All These Years

What does it say about human relations that there are only "32 Ways to Please Your Lover," but 50 ways to leave?

The problem is all inside your head they said to me
The answer is easy if you watch this DVD
We'd like to help you in your struggle sexually
There must be 32 ways to please your lover

They said it's really not our habit to intrude
Furthermore, we hope our meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
But we'll repeat ourselves - we're the Sinclair Institute
There must be 32 ways to please your lover

You just dive into her puss, Russ; make love to those tits, Fritz
Don't be a dick, Rick - just get the DVD
Get into her ass, Chas (you'll need to discuss that)
But learn how to kiss, Chris, and get yourself free

They said it grieves us so to see you in such pain
We wish there was something we could do to make you come again
I said I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the 32 ways?

They said why don't you both just get it on tonight
And we believe by morning you'll begin to see the light
And then they charged me $24.95 – and it turns out they were right
There must be 32 ways to please your lover

You work on his ass, Cass; just find his G-spot, Dot
Just spend a little dough, Flo, and buy our DVD
Suck on his toes, Rose (you might need to wash those)
Just learn to fellate, Kate, and get yourself free

· Sinclair Institute (www.bettersex.com)
· Buy "32 Ways to Please Your Lover" (gamelink.com)