“House of Ass” And Fog

The nuns taught us that "Tom Byron's House of Ass" had many mansions, and we didn't understand it then and we don't understand it now. What is important is that this 10th installment is the last installment ("I'm going to take a break," Byron says) and that in this house, Charley Chase has a fantastic basement.

What is the thematic difference between Byron's series "Lord of Asses" and "House of Ass" other than, say, spelling?

Perhaps this confusion influenced Byron's decision to jettison one of them.

"I'm known as the Lord of Asses," the veteran performer says, graying and sporting a pair of hipster glasses, "so I thought I'd switch it up. I'm going to start a series called 'The King of Cootchies,' so I can have sex with all the pretty girls who don't take it in the ass."

Can you just declare yourself King, Tom? If so, then you would take the throne in an assless coup.

But back to Charley Chase. (And we mean it when we say "back.")

"That was a big load," says Chase when the deed is done.

"I don't know," replies Byron. "The old man has his moments."

I also take issue with the title. The women in this movie - Lexi Belle, Scarlett Fay, Chase, Mina Leigh, Brynn Tyler - are all so much more than their asses.

I guess everyone has at one point shouted "Oh shit" when having sex. But if I were the script supervisor on this film I would have suggested that Brynn Tyler not say "Oh shit" in a place called the House of Ass.

"It's going to be great to fuck you," says Byron to Scarlett Fay as she peers at him over his penis. How does he know? Is he, like, Nostradam-ass?

So we look forward to "The King of Cootchies," just as long as there isn't a parallel series called "House of Cootchies."


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· Tom Byron (tombyronshard.com)
· Buy "Tom Byron's House of Ass 10" (mondoerotica.com)