“Hollywood’s Nailin’ Palin” (Without Kato Kaelin)

January 26, 2010
LANK

"Hollywood's Nailin' Palin" is a much better franchise reboot than the Norton/Tyler "The Incredible Hulk" (but I'm still holding out for a porn version of "Stealing Beauty")... Read on to see how Palin gets downright surreal with a sandwich.

Hollywood's Nailin' Palin

Studio: Hustler
Director: Axel Braun
Starring: Lisa Ann, Tori Black, Sindee Jennings, Nicole Ray, Alan Stafford, Otto Bauer, Anthony Rosano, Sean Michaels

Review by: Gram Ponante

When last we heard from Lisa Ann-as-Sarah Palin (Jesus, was it three days ago?), she was either in the Levi Johnson gay porn parody, an Eminem video, or the "You're Nailin' Palin" interactive title. Now, however, the actual Sarah Palin's TV deal comes just in time for "Hollywood's Nailin' Palin," one more reason to believe the rumor that Lisa Ann and Scott Brown are free to be running mates in 2012.

Our story begins as Sarah Palin is still Governor of Alaska. She gets a call from her Hollywood agent that she's up for a part and needs to head to L.A. At the casting agent's office, she meets Tina Fey (Sindee Jennings) and, after some tart, girlish banter, they get right to it.

As a scholar and historian, I find it particularly compelling that Jennings played "young Serra" back in 2008 for the first outing in this franchise, back when Hustler was a little antsy and covered its butt by (initially) calling the movie "Who's Nailin' Paylin?"

Director Braun has matured this series. Unlike the original quickie outings, "Hollywood's Nailin' Palin" has a little more production value in it, including a "Mary Tyler Moore Show" takeoff theme song that features live shots of Lisa Ann working the Hollywood Walk of Fame and posing by the Hollywood sign. There are even crane and dolly shots!

Not only that, but the real Palin's bland ambition leaves ample room for various well-executed Hollywood jokes, like "CSI: Wasilla," "Alaska's Next Top Governor" (Otto Bauer plays David Hasselhoff), and a talk show/fuck fest with Cris Angel (played by Alan Stafford).

Most porn movies, shot quickly on a low budget, don't have much time for cleverness. You can actually see the performers' heads exploding when they encounter lines.

But "Hollywood's Nailin' Palin" is different. Roger Krypton's script is genuinely funny and, perhaps because the idea is a known quantity in Porn Valley, the cast pulls it off. It also helps that Lisa Ann is playing a morbidly stupid character and can get away with Coakley-ing a line here and there.

It is in the final scene, with veteran (and black!) porn dude Sean Michaels playing an alternate version of Sarah Palin, holding a sausage sandwich that "symbolizes my struggle in a man's world," that "Hollywood's Nailin' Palin" becomes a Golden Age-era freakshow. It's very silly and, what's more important, Lisa Ann's machine-crafted and well-oiled pornoparts have never looked better.

· Hustler (hustler.com)
· Buy "Hollywood's Nailin' Palin" (gamelink.com)