“This Ain’t A XXX Parody, It’s A Midget Movie!” And Today Is Opposite Day

We're not saying we feel lied to by the people of White Ghetto Films, but we had high hopes and they were callously dashed by the untruths behind this title. Don't judge a porno by its cover.

This Ain't a XXX Parody, It's a Midget Movie!

Studio: White Ghetto Films
Cast: Victoria Rush, Carmen Black, Candy, Lellou, Josefina, Mario the Midget, Dillon Day, JJ

I heard the original title of this movie was "This Ain't a XXX Parody, It's a Midget Movie, Although It Was Somewhat Inspired by Characters, Events, and Items from the ‘Austin Powers' Franchise But No One Wanted to Say So, Plus the Midget Only Has One Scene, So It's Not Much of a Midget Movie Either" but long titles like that remind people of Fiona Apple and that is so 1999.

The non-Dr. Evil (Dillon Day) drinks some "mojo juice" and becomes horny. He plots to fuck all the women of the world (how very Lil' Wayne of him) and create a super race of minions. Step one of this plan is to give his European assistant (Victoria Rush) a thorough shtupping with creampie; this is actually one of the better scenes in the movie.

I can't say why, but when he creams inside her and he says "HAHA! My demon seed," it's actually funny. If someone would like to adopt this catchphrase as a counterpoint to Nick Manning's "droppin' loads" bit, I'd be much obliged.

After that, Number Two (JJ) gives one of the Fem-Bots a test run, making sure their sexual endurance can stand up to the men of the world (or whatever, it's not important). His combination of his facial hair, eyepatch, and penchant for choking the girl makes for a considerably rough scene. Had the little person not been on board for this project, they could've turned it into "This Ain't a XXX Parody, It's a Pirate Movie!"

When Dr. Evil's assistant expresses her concern over the lesbians of the world, the good doctor provides a demonstration of one Fem-Bot on another. The girls must've studied hard for their robotic roles; it was the most lackluster licking we've ever seen. Lightly grazing your tongue over the outermost pussy lips may be an adequate tease, but it makes for an extremely boring muff diving session. Even though lesbian scenes are traditionally (visually) anticlimactic, this one was straight up flat and awkward.

Finally, the midget (did I mention the midget is Dr. Evil's child?) gets into the act, finding some quiet time to take advantage of another Fem-Bot (Carmen Black). She gives him a little two-finger tug and some shallowthroat, but beyond that, it's a pretty standard fuck. His small stature doesn't make for any unusual maneuvering, nor does he hide any hidden enormities (such as penis size or jizz load).

When I sat down to watch this, I really thought it would be A) Not a parody, perhaps even taking a jab the current parody craze, or B) Bursting with little people, or at least midget-centric. If White Ghetto truly intended to make fun of parody porn, they missed the crucial wink to the audience that let us know they were being bland on purpose. As it stands, this is not not a parody porn, not a midget porn, and completely not worth watching.

· Buy "This Ain't A XXX Parody, It's A Midget Movie" (tlavideo.com)

Buy "This Ain't A XXX Parody, It's A Midget Movie" (tlavideo.com)
Buy "This Ain't A XXX Parody, It's A Midget Movie" (tlavideo.com)
Buy "This Ain't A XXX Parody, It's A Midget Movie" (tlavideo.com)
Buy "This Ain't A XXX Parody, It's A Midget Movie" (tlavideo.com)
Buy "This Ain't A XXX Parody, It's A Midget Movie" (tlavideo.com)
Buy "This Ain't A XXX Parody, It's A Midget Movie" (tlavideo.com)
Buy "This Ain't A XXX Parody, It's A Midget Movie" (tlavideo.com)
Buy "This Ain't A XXX Parody, It's A Midget Movie" (tlavideo.com)
Buy "This Ain't A XXX Parody, It's A Midget Movie" (tlavideo.com)
Buy "This Ain't A XXX Parody, It's A Midget Movie" (tlavideo.com)
Buy "This Ain't A XXX Parody, It's A Midget Movie" (tlavideo.com)