Gross Old Dudes Devour Youthful Innocence Again In “Teens for Cash 17”

If there is one thing we've learned over the years from people like Joe Francis, it's that teens love cash almost as much as they love the endless attention they get from mindlessly exposing their privates to strangers.

Senor Matt Morningwood over at Pink Visual is simply following the footsteps of Joe and those of his ilk, really, when he gets really super old dudes with fists full of hard American green backs to lure in legal teen prostitutes and turn those little tricks in training out. It's dynomite—yep, even when it really just isn't, ya dig?

Even if this weren't entirely staged with performers you've already seen on the cover of everything from Hustler to Vivid boxes (with brief stop overs into Porno Dan's Questionably Legal Sex Shack) that wouldn't change the facts: these girls were bound to end up as sex workers no matter how you cut it. It's not like they managed to entice impressionable young women on the verge of financial ruin and convinced them to do the unthinkable (gasp!) for some quick cash to save the family farm. These little Knudsens came action packed with boundary issues long before Mister Morningwood found them—they ran off with Karl Hungus years ago, if only in their minds.

These days, those of us who can still churn a semi-honest living out of the jizz biz often hear from the "fresh" crop of new starlets that they'd been considering this line of work back when they should have been playing with My Little Pony, that they gave book reports on Jenna's autobiography in high school. This is what happens when you try to mainstream porn, people.

All that being said, there's nothing wrong with "Teens for Cash 17" at all. In fact, as far as these things go, it's downright entertaining. Okay, we fucking loved it. What the hell do you want from us? It's like "Dirty Dancing" or "To Wong Foo": we know we shouldn't like them, but Schwayze is in them, so we watch them anyway, and then we end up liking them—but never ever talking about it.

Gross old degenerates Dick Nasty and Dirty Harry convince Ryzell that fucking them is worth some quick cash. We're not so sure. We were thinking about setting up a scholarship fund after witnessing this. So super sleazy, but that's the kink right?

Kelly Summers goes wild for a fist full of dollars from cowboys Maleboro and Rick Masters. Former retired pornstar turned pastor turned back pornstar Rod Fontana guides one of his young flock to his aging cock. He and Dick Nasty (most appropriate name in porn since Tommy Gunn) proselytize to the impressionable young soul and in the end decide the fastest way to salvation is for her to buy herself a stairway to heaven after they violate her sweet young hole with their decrepit old wrinkled genitals and baptize her in the milky waters of their dysfunctional, rotting sperm. They make such a good team, Matt pairs them up with succulent Cara Dee as well. We've got to say despite the scathing rebuke we feel we just laid down (biting snark now included free of charge!), it's still a fucking hot scene. Damn, we are hypocrites.

"Teens for Cash 17" comes out this week from Pink Visual. Check out this mega gallery and decide for yourselves if it's worth it to snatch up a copy. God, we love little girls. We take it all back. We were just projecting.

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