Immoral Productions Makes Outrageous Medical Claims To Push New Handjob Movie

Let's be clear about this from the start: there is no real, empirical evidence to suggest that giving handjobs actually prevents carpal tunnel. Getting one from a hot chick might help you forget about the pain though.

When we first received news that Porno Dan and the dastardly crew over at Immoral Productions were claiming in earnest that giving hand jobs was a way to cure carpal tunnel syndrome, we were both shocked and outraged. How dare those dirty pornographers resort to such low down cheap tricks to try to push the sixth volume of their beloved Handjob series? Didn't they know that some people might not know they were kidding? There were bound to be some poor souls out there with CTS that actually believed them, people with no option left but surgery who might be willing to try anything to avoid going under the knife. It seemed unconscionable on so many levels.

Then we took a good hard look at the science behind the assertions and realized that there was a pretty good reason we never made the debate team. Turns out that claiming that "a recent survey of pornstars found that none of them suffered" from CTS was in all likelihood true. And the fact that they text and twitter like ADHD kids cracked out on Adderal all damn day and night did seem extraordinary. Maybe there is something to what Jim Powers and Porno Dan are claiming, which is that by giving handies all day these porn chicks are actually strengthening the muscles in their hands and wrists, protecting themselves from repetitive stress injuries. Maybe.

You know, we once knew a guy who convinced his girlfriend that taking loads to the face was really, really good for her skin, like it would keep her from getting wrinkles. Less than a year later she became a porn star. Come to think about it, she doesn't look much older today than she did back then.

"Handjob Winner Vol. 6" stars Brooke Haven, Riley Evans, Amy Brooke, Danica Dillan, Tiffany Tyler, Pepper Foxxx, Jessica Moore, and Sara Faye. There are one-on-one cock tugs as well as a three girl oily tug-a-thon that leaves one lucky lad creaming harder than he's probably ever creamed in his life. Hand jobs are a crazy fetish. They've always seemed like an apertif to us more than the main event. It's hard to think of them as fulfilling unless you are a germaphobe, or navigating the moral gray area of cheating with a streetwalker, or Mormon, or maybe a Jonas Brother, or all of the above. Then again, some folks think they are great. Feel free to flood our comments section with your thoughts and let us know if handies are making the big cumback in the 10's.

"Handjob Winner Vol. 6" is distributed through Pure Play Media. It comes out today. Check out the sample gallery we were able to "squeeze" out of them. Who knows? You might be next - sucka!

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